NBD - Week 8 Review B

I was just hanging out in the Village with some friends watching tonight's World Series game. I left in the middle of the 6th with the score 7-3. I then took the subway home to Cobble Hill. For those of you not familiar with NYC geography, that's five subway stops in the city, a trip under the East River, three more stops in Brooklyn, and a 10-12 minute walk to my apartment. When I got home? Middle of the 7th, same score. One full inning, with no scoring, had elapsed in the time of my entire commute home. This is why baseball sucks. On to football...


Who Gonna Check Me Boo? (136) defeats Smegma Amuse Bouche (84)
You know what freaks me out? Every time I look at Colly's team pic of the Real Housewives of Atlanta lady. Go check it out now. I'll wait. First of all, I've never seen a neck that angry. Whatever the standard number of tendons are in the human neck, this lady was given a double dose. Second, and more frightening even though it's not real: the goiter. I realize it's just a blurry image of her earring or whatever, but it looks like a god damn alien popping out of her neck and it scares the shit out of me. Also scaring the shit out of me: Colly's team. This was their fourth win in a row, and over that streak they're averaging 129 points a week. These were not four "squeaking by" wins. They were four "beating your ass" wins. The good news? His tight end, Owen Daniels (2), is done for the season. The bad news? He still has the following: Chris Johnson (36), Maurice Jones-Drew (29), Roddy White (17), Marques Colston (15), and Miles Austin (13). I'm not sure there is a better all-around team in any of the three leagues I'm in.
This week's opponent, Papkin, was simply no match. He got an inordinately good day from his defense (Chicago, 26), and Matt Hasselbeck showed up (18), but that was largely it for Amuse Bouche scoring. Even if potential studs like Ronnie Brown (3), Anquan Boldin (2), or Mike Bell (3) had lived up to their potential, their resistance would likely have been futile in the face of the Check Me scoring onslaught. Somebody sucker Colly into a horrible trade. Soon.

Matt Ryan Loves Dogs (85) defeats Globo de Aire Mi Equipo (85)
I've always liked that we use fractional points in this league. Many leagues don't, along with benchmark bonuses like +2 for going over 100 rushing or receiving yards. This means that a guy with 100 yards would score 12 points while a guy with one yard less would score nine points. Why this makes sense, or is desirable, I don't know. As it is, we give credit to every yard gained, even if I don't indicate it in my score summaries since it's not normally necessary. This game was an exception. Without partial points, this would have been a tie ballgame, 82-82, and each of these losers would have come out with an extra digit in their records. As it is, though, Koehler edged Haller by 34 hundredths of a point, likely closing the door on a back-door playoff berth for the Globo de Aire. The Dog-Lovers were led by Steven Jackson (23), who scored a much-deserved first touchdown of the season. S-Jax, despite that lone touchdown, is now tenth among RBs in fantasy scoring this season. Can we please get this man out of St. Louis and into a franchise where his talents might be worth something? I have no doubt the Redskins would offer up whatever amount of money or draft picks the Rams wanted in exchange, but I'm not sure that that would put him into any better of an offensive situation. Arizona would seem a nice destination, with a powerful passing offense and generally impotent run game, but Tim Hightower (16), Jackson's MRLD backfield mate, actually had a decent game in Week 8. Braylon Edwards (13) also contributed to the victory. The Globos were very close behind thanks to the work of Vincent Jackson and DeAngelo Williams (16 each). Phil Rivers (13) and Joe Addai (12) round out the list of Globo double-digiters, as well as being guys who I like to refer to by the shortened version of their first names. ("Phil Rivers," in particular, sounds like a guy you'd find in a greasy side-part and horned-rim specs in my Dad's Central Catholic High School "Towers '65" yearbook, right next to the guy nicknamed "Magyar.")