BIFL - Week 10 Review B

What's up with the ridiculous parity in Biffle these days? Normally the NFL is an any-given-Sunday league, but we have definitive powerhouses and weaklings. This year is the exact opposite, with decided top dogs and bottom-feeders in the pros, but a bunch of middlers here in BIFL. Only three weeks from the playoffs, there are four teams at 5-5, and four more within a game of that. It's good for excitement here in the latter part of the season, but bad for power rankings (version 2.0 coming soon!). Today we'll look at four teams that could be entering the playoffs in a few weeks or could be among the worst in the league. We don't know anything yet.
Pet Monkey (118) defeats Bardois Bourgeoisie (98)
It must have been a crazy swirl of emotions for these two on Sunday, with Bardey's Skins taking on Billy's Broncos, but with Denver's top offensive threat plying his trade for the Bourgeoisie. Early on, it looked like Brandon Marshall (31) might prove to be the downfall of both the Skins and the Monkey, but even his first-quarter explosion (124 receiving yards and two TDs) couldn't resurrect a Bourgie squad that had managed just 28 points from four Thursday night combatants. This is not to say that 98 points is anything to sneeze at, and Brett Favre and Matt Forte (19 each) were solid contributors this week, but Billy, having broken the century mark for the fourth time in five games and won them all, has become a formidable opponent. Randy Moss (33) led the way here in Week 10, and Aaron Rodgers (20) was his usual dependable self. Billy's running backs, Joseph Addai (18) and Ronnie Brown (13), were solid too, but that could be a trouble spot moving forward in Monkeytown. At the moment, Hollywood's top three running backs all have big red Q's next to their names. Addai is the least concern, with merely a finger injury that he played through in the Pats game. But once other teams become aware of the injury, we could see a few fumbles as linebackers and safeties try to rip the ball away from a weakened Addai kung-fu grip. Clinton Portis and Ronnie Brown are bigger question marks. Portis' concussion recovery has no definite timetable, and considering how good Ladell Betts and Rock Cartwright looked as replacements, the Skins might not be rushing him back. And Ronnie Brown is almost definitely missing this week with foot and ankle injuries, and who knows what beyond that. After such a strong mid-season comeback, it would be a shame if Billy's post-season hopes were derailed by injuries. And by "it would be a shame" I mean that it would fucking awesome and he would deserve it.

Ass-Ramming HotCocks (124) defeat Iron Chef of Pounding Poon (87)
This was a game of highs and lows. Dick probably thought he had achieved an unbeatable low by having Santana Moss and Nate Burleson both score no points. But not to be outdone, my Marques Colston ventured into forbidden territory, managing negative one point. Despite this, there were enough highs from the HotCocks to secure a relatively easy victory and the high score of the week. Highest among them, predictably, was Chris Johnson (41). A few weeks ago, I was talking with Will about my trading possibilities and said that I'd rather hold on to Michael Turner than Chris Johnson because of his Turner's reliability compared to Johnson's inconsistency. Well let the record show that I am a fucking moron, because CJ has been consistently kick-ass for the past month, and I would never trade him away. Not ever, you hear me! I am still willing to trade Turner (13), however, especially in light of the high ankle sprain he suffered this weekend. Turner is going to cost me a first-rounder to keep next year, but he'd cost one of you a third-rounder, so if you've got a good receiver and need an elite keeper RB, call me.
While Johnson's excellence has come to be expected, a few aspects of the HotCocks game this weekend were unusual. For one thing, I somehow managed to start Donovan McNabb (28) in a good week for the first time in history. And as if that wasn't enough, Anquan Boldin (12) did not suck in Week 10. I repeat: he DID NOT SUCK. Has the world gone mad, or are the Ass-Rammers just warming up for a playoff run the likes of which ye have never seen? Only time will tell.