BIFL - Week 8 Review A

Some quick notes from around the league before we dig into the re-caps...

...Charm City Murder owner Andre Lafollette broke his long-standing policy of in-season silence on Tuesday to address the failures of his franchise so far this year: “I feel bad for the fans. I feel sorry for the fans, and we’re very, very appreciative of our loyal fan base,” he said. “We just feel terrible. We’re disappointed. We’re embarrassed, and we hope to get it going soon.” When asked how it felt to have fans bringing signs to the stadium declaring "Fire Weirdbeard" and "F@*& Frenchie," Lafollette said simply "It hurts."

...FUBAR owner Spencer Jones offered no details about the team’s decision to move on without hand-picked GM and brother, Ben Jones. Everyone inside team headquarters at 76 Minnieville Rd. was pretty quiet on Tuesday. The FUBAR players went about their business as rumors swirled about Jones, the events that led up to his departure and who— or if—anyone will replace him. Pro Bowl quarterback Drew Brees hardly knew Jones, who was hired in January and left the club under unexplained circumstances on Monday.

“He wasn’t around too much, and when he was, he was pretty quiet,” Brees said...

...The Alligator Fuckhouse will undertake a "serious evaluation" of allegations that coach Speeve Sussendike has a history of violent behavior toward women. The team released a statement in response to allegations made to the Commandant Lassard Blog by Sussendike's latest girlfriend, Smelly Jurgensen. The beleaguered coach acknowledged striking Jurgensen with an open hand in a statement Sunday. Sussendike said the altercation happened more than 10 minutes ago and was the only time he's ever touched a woman inappropriately, though he conceded that he had had several instances of inappropriate contact with men. The Fuckhouse also released a statement criticizing Lassard's reporting, saying the blog "routinely disseminates falsehoods about the Fuckhouse."


Ass-Ramming HotCocks (109) defeat I'm Here for the Gangbang (86)
I have five good players. One of them is Donovan McNabb, but he is only good when I bench him. This goes back several years now, across multiple leagues. This week I made a last-minute decision to bench McNabb (22) for David Garrard (6), who looked to have a better match-up against the Titans. Nope! Another of my good players is Marques Colston (14). Other than those two weeks when the Saints decided they were a run-first team, Colston has been solid gold. And then there are my other three good players: Michael Turner (23), Chris Johnson (43), and Pierre Thomas (19-bench). You may notice that all three play the same position, a position at which we can only start two players. Hopefully you all see where I'm going with this: if you've got a nice receiver to spare and are in need of a running back, it's time to make me an offer I can't refuse.
My opponent this week was Chuck, who could certainly use a running back on the heels of Steve Slaton's -1-point performance and subsequent benching for Ryan Moats. He does have a top-flight receiver, Roddy White (21), but with only Steve Breaston (7) and Justin Gage (4) providing depth at the position, I suspect he's not eager to trade him away. Frank Gore (21) led the Gangbangers in the loss.

Charm City Murder (79) defeats Juse and the Argonauts (67)
When I previewed this game, I high-lighted the easy opponents on Juse's schedule, predicting that "Jay Cutler will be picking apart the Browns, Lee Evans will be seeking to go over the top of Houston, and Steven Jackson may actually score some touchdowns in addition to his usual 100+ yards against the Lions." Well, one out of three ain't bad (S-Jax, 23). I think something about the similarities between "Cutler" and "cutlery" got me onto the "picking apart" thing, making me forget that Jay (10) is the type to play down to shitty opposition like the Browns. And if Lee Evans (2) was going "over the top," it was only in the Sylvester Stallone sense, perhaps in a sideline arm-wrestling competition with Roscoe Parrish. Dre's team can not be said to have been "good" this week, but at least they were better than the Argos*. Tony Romo (21) had his third straight game over 20 points, and really seems to have gotten the Cowboys back on track in the past few weeks since God realized there was still another way he could fuck over Redskins fans. Brandon Jacobs (10) was... mentionable, and Danieal Manning (10) had an excellent IDP day thanks to an intiearception and a fumble rieacovery.

*I used Argo corn starch in the sauce I made for dinner tonight. Thickened that shit up nice. Thanks, Juse?