Globo de Aire Mi Equipo (126) defeats Vag Secretion Parfait (76)
I don't think I've said anything yet this year about the new feature on Yahoo's league frontpage, the Toyota Biggest Fantasy Blowout of the week. It seems a little cruel to me to highlight the team that got beaten the worst each week. Why you gotta be a dick, Toyota? Why not just point out the high scorer for the week, or the single biggest point contributor? Don't hate, celebrate.
That said, I'm gonna go ahead and draw some attention to it now, since this game was the Toyota Fantasy Blowout of the Week. This is the second week in a row that Papkin has been on the losing side of the TFBotW, and his third time in that position all season. In fact, Papkin's team is the only one that has been the victim in the FBotW more than once. You could make the argument that that's a good thing: If you're getting blown out, you probably had a bad week; and if you're having a bad week, you might as well get some big opponent weeks out of the way, right? For some teams, getting blown out three times in the first nine weeks could mean that you're playing smart, peaking against the teams you can beat and troughing against the ones you can't. For Sam's team, I'm pretty sure it just means they suck.
To be fair, Haller's team would have blown out many of us this weekend, as he had the highest score in the league. His running backs were fantastic: DeAngelo Williams (26) enjoyed his fourth straight week of excellence, and was backed up more than usual by Joe Addai (23) having his best outing of the season. The Globo-Chargers combination also made a valuable contribution, with Philip Rivers and Vincent Jackson combining for 37 points. Those four guys alone would have been enough to take home a victory here, with the only Parfait players of note being the Steelers combo of Roethlisberger-Ward (34 combined). Though they nearly matched their Charger counterparts, the rest of the Secretion crew smelled more of excretion, highlighted by a -1 point showing by the Bears D.
Harry Lance Hannibal (114) defeats Burke City Giants (86)
DadBowl III! I love the excitement. What I love even more is another notch in the win column for the Tarasovic side of this rivalry. Nice going, Pops! Unfortunately, this win is tainted (as we might expect with a DadBowl) with the touch of senility: When I spoke to Ray earlier tonight he was proud to have been led in scoring by John Carlson. That sounded a little odd to me, as I didn't remember Carlson having a big day, but I didn't really think much of it. Turns out he had the wrong dude entirely. Unbeknownst to their owner, HLH was led to victory this week by Greg Olsen (25), who had three touchdowns on Sunday and looks an awful lot like Moose from the Archie comics.
Other players whose names were likely forgotten by Ray include David Garrard (17), Ryan Grant (16), and Frank Gore (22). Gore's current profile includes the rarely-seen "(eye lid)" injury parenthetical. Seriously? He's got an eye lid injury? I can't figure out what that can even mean. Anyway, maybe there were a number of eye lid, ear lobe, and nostril injuries to the Burke City Giants, or maybe they've just traded away all their talent, but there wasn't a lot going on with Michael's players this week. Randy Moss (23) was the lone standout, with Peyton Manning (16) achieving double-figures (the only other BC Giant to do so) but failing to match his usual fantasy brilliance. The rest of the line-up was dominated by mediocrity, except for the San Francisco defense (0), which was much worse than mediocre.
Wild Stallions (119) defeat Deuceburger (73)
When Kex won the draft lottery and got first pick in the first NBD draft in years to feature actual first-round talent in the first round, he must have been thrilled. And when he won the first two games of the season, he must have been thinking: This is it! I've got the best player in football and two wins under my belt! I'm going to win this thing! Since then? Not so much. This week's loss was the seventh in a row for the Deuceburger, and their chances of making the playoffs have all but disappeared. The team has a solid core of talent in Adrian Peterson and Matt Schaub, but the surrounding players are just atrocious, and when Peterson is sitting, as he did this week, there's pretty much no chance. DeYoung, on the other hand, has built a nice, well-rounded squad that out-scored all but one other NBD franchise in Week 9. His own first round pick, Larry Fitzgerald (24) was the team's alpha dog in this contest, followed closely by Aaron Rodgers (24) who is just above Deuceburger's Matt Schaub as top-scoring fantasy player this season. Mike Sims-Walker (21), who seems to be a rollercoaster, boom-or-bust peformer, chose this weekend to BOOM with a career-high 147 yards. And the young running back combo of Rashard Mendenhall (16) and Pierre Thomas (14) iced this one for the Stallions.
3 comments:
potato/potahto, Carlson/Olsen, Tarasovic/Sovic; it was an ass-whupping and a win nontheless. Not too much joy in Mudville this week in beating someone near my age. I much prefer beating smart-ass thirtysomethings. Beware Johnny D.
Like attorney/client and husband/wife, i always thought that father/son communication was privileged. Apparently not. Did i ever tell any of you about the time my only son ........?
come on, man. this is like the third time i've sold you out. you've got to be used to it by now.
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