NBD - Week 9 Review A

Yesterday I got a Pizza Hut craving. Not for a Pizza Hut pizza (I prefer Domino's actually), but for a Pizza Hut. The restaurant. And not the combination Pizza Hut/Taco Bell sung about by Das Racist and memorialized by Elliott's early-season team names, but a legit, sit-down Pizza Hut restaurant. There are checkered tablecloths. There is a salad bar with one big vat of ranch dressing and one big vat of zesty Italian. I drink my fountain soda from a large, pebbled, red plastic cup. The ceiling lamp above us is old-timey and not at all authentic. My mom orders a personal pan pizza, and it comes in a little tin pan. There is a team of loud little-leaguers at the table to our left, an end-of-the-year CCD class party across the way, and a childless couple sitting in icy silence behind us. Does this exist anymore? It looks like this:

There used to be a killer one on 123 between Burke Centre Parkway and Old St. Mary's church, but it long ago became a Tolteca, and is probably something else entirely by now. If you can help me locate such a Hut, please let me know in the Comments.

Sorry to let my inner urges overtake the blog. Now back to your regularly-scheduled game reviews:

Matt Ryan Loves Dogs (97) defeats The Death Panel (94)

How many years of writing these things is it going to take for me to learn not to say things like "this should be an easy victory for the Panel"? Koehler and I had no one in the Sunday or Monday night games, meaning that this contest was wrapped up by the end of the 4:00 games, and it came down to the wire. After MRLD shot out to an early lead thanks to Kurt Warner's incredible day (31) and Cedric Benson's continuing ownership of the Ravens (18), the Death Panel was storming back into contention. Ray Rice (20) had managed to match Benson blow-for-blow. Drew Brees and the Saints had arisen from a first-half coma to come back over Carolina. Despite the early turnovers, Brees had managed 15 points with some second-half touchdowns and when the Saints' D returned a fumble for a touchdown with 2 minutes left, it brought me within a few points. Unfortunately, it also guaranteed that I would come no closer, and with Julius Jones (17) adding on some more yardage before the fantasy whistle blew, the Panel's fate was sealed.

Woody's Warriors (101) defeats This Guy Here is Dead (61)

In my preview of this game, I wondered: "What will become of the 87 million dollar man, Ryan Moats? Is he going to carry the load for Houston, and will that mean anything in a game where the Texans will likely be playing catch-up with the Colts? And on the other side of the ball: What can Michael Crabtree do now with a few weeks under his belt and a shitty opponent (Tennessee) in store?" Well, turns out that Moats (9) can fumble just as well as the guy he replaced, and ran for a mere 38 yards. Despite that turd of a day, he was Derek's second-highest scorer (highest: Romo, 15), leading to the paltry point total you see above. Crabtree, despite the lousy opponent, was still not very effective (3 pts). But my preview had ignored the possible impact of Michael Turner (30), who I had stupidly assumed might be slowed down by the Redskins defense since that was, you know, the only decent aspect of their team up until this point. That was not a correct assumption. I also had failed to consider that Steve Breaston (15) might be due for a breakout game with Anquan Boldin sitting out. Those two performances, combined with a big night from the Pittsburgh defense (21), gave Woody his second straight win.

Who Gonna Check Me Boo? (104) defeats Mental Errors (94)

Speaking of win streaks, Colly just notched his fifth straight, which is also his fifth straight game over a hundred points. Yikes. This week's win came again on the strength of the run game. After this week, Maurice Jones-Drew (19) and Chris Johnson (28) are now the top two running backs in the league by scoring average. To be clear: we're not talking about the top running back from Colly's team and the top running back from Elliott's team. We're talking about Colly's two running backs. #1 and #2 in the league. Fuck. The good news for Elliott? The rest of Colly's superstars kind of shit the bed this week. Receivers DeSean Jackson (3), Marques Colston (5), and Miles Austin (11) were all well below their accustomed production. Matt Ryan (9) was mostly useless, and Colly has lost his starting tight end (Owen Daniels) and replaced him with a shitter (Fred Davis, 3). The bad news for Elliott is that somehow the Seattle Defense (19) picked up all that slack and carried the Check Me crew to victory anyway. E had a decent day from a handful of guys: Tom Brady (19), Donald Driver (13), Dallas Clark (12), and David Akers (11) all had perfectly respectable outings. But 17 combined points from your running backs (Ricky Williams and Kevin Smith) ain't gonna get it done against the Johnson/Jones-Drew wrecking crew.