NBD - Week 10 Review B

I found this to be a delight, and I thought I'd share it with you all:


I hate baseball because it's so slow and unexciting and most of the guys who play it are dicks, but I can appreciate the fact that the pace and the number of games allow for casual moments like this. I'll take George Brett any day over some super-serious douchebag like Tedy Bruschi, who practically had another stroke talking about the Belichick decision in the Monday Night pre-game. Relax, dude. You're retired. Let it go.
(I promise to let it go, too. That will be my last mention of Go-for-it-gate unless game analysis demands it.)
Continuing with Week 10...
The Death Panel (91) defeats Vag Secretion Parfait (48)
I think Papkin thinks that if he keeps appearing on Toyota's Fantasy Blowout of the Week, he'll get a free Tacoma or something. Let me clarify that a) there is no prize for most blowouts suffered and b) even if there were, the Tacoma totally isn't worth it. I used to drive one (Truckasaurus), and I'm pretty sure Toyota used the same engine and wheels from the Paseo.  When I pulled up at a light next to someone in, say, a Sebring, they'd have to roll down their windows and lean their heads out the window to look down upon me and my Tacoma. But I digress. This was Sam's third straight appearance in the Blowout of the Week, and his 48 points represents the lowest regular season score since Week 7 of last year, when Ray scored 33 points (that is some Joe DiMaggio, Bob Beamon shit right there). Papkin can take some solace in Anquan Boldin's first 100-yard day of the season (11), and Ronnie Brown (14) was not terrible, but otherwise this was a putrid outing fitting of its team name. It didn't take much to top the Parfait, but what little it did take was provided by my RB tandem, Ray Rice and Matt Forte (16 each). Forte has now had three straight weeks in double-digits, which is nothing compared to what was expected of him this season, but has been a sigh of relief considering his early-season ineptitude. The only other Panelist of note was Drew Brees (15), who has been living on the edge lately coughing up easy turnovers to shitty teams. Dude better get his shit together for the playoff run.

Legends... wait for it... of the Fall (98) defeats Deuceburger (91)
Two surprises led the Legends of the Fall to victory this week, one because we thought his best days were behind him, and the other because we thought they were yet to come (or not come at all). The unlikely duo of LaDainian Tomlinson (22) and Beanie Wells (24) spear-headed Derek's winning effort this week, notching four touchdowns between them. The Deuceburger backs, Adrian Peterson (22) and Jonathan Stewart (20) matched them pretty ably, leaving this contest to the wide receivers. But that round went pretty heavily to Derek, with Kex's wideouts mustering only three total points, while Jerricho Cotchery (13) and Santonio Holmes (9) had respectable days.
That's a pretty short write-up, but I just don't have anything else to say about this game. Sorry, it's Week 10. I'm running low on material.

P.S. Someone should probably name their fantasy team "Double-Tapered Shit"