BIFL - Week 10 Review B

It's 6am on Sunday. My "roommates" got home around two and a half hours ago, and since my bedroom doubles as the living room and dining room of this apartment, I was awoken. I haven't been able to get back to sleep, so I figured I'd go ahead and knock out the Week 10 recaps.

You know what this blog hasn't had enough of this season?

NBD - Week 10 Review B

I was doing a Google Image search for "Patricide," since I was planning to write about slaying my father in fantasy this week and was hoping there was some sort of painting or sculpture of a historical patricide I could use, and instead I found this image. Really makes you think about who hears you when you're saying this kind of trash. Does anyone know what a Pikey or a Chav Scum is so I can start using those properly?

BIFL - Week 10 Review A

You should watch this with sound on, but not at work. Prodigious use of the n-word (albeit the good -a version not the bad -er one) and cursing.

Fuck you, Gumby!

NBD - Week 10 Review A

I'm writing tonight's re-caps while watching the MNF tilt between the 'Skins and Eagles, so this will likely be as much a live-blog of the game as it is a review of Week 10. ESPN just showed the ad for NFL Shop women's apparel with "You Don't Own Me" as the soundtrack. Does anyone understand this ad? It starts off fine: women are breaking up with their dudes, clearing their closets of the jerseys the guys have been storing there. OK, I see the narrative arc you're crafting there, NFLShop.com. And then... Dan Snyder knocks on his wife's door? And she's got a Redskins shirt, which she models for him? And he looks mildly pleased? How does this fit in to the rest of the commercial? And why is Dan Snyder in a commercial for NFL ladieswear at all? I've seen it a bunch of times, and it just keeps leaving me confused.
On the contrary, the Andy Reid youth Punt, Pass, and Kick footage does not leave me with any confusion. It is undoubtedly hilarious.

Little Andy Reid is huge!

NBD - Week 8 Review C

It's a race against the clock to see if I can finish Week 8 write-ups before Week 9 starts, and it's a race I intend to win!

BIFL - Week 8 Review C

We're less than two hours from the start of Week 9, which seems as good a time as any to finish off the Week 8 re-caps.

NBD - Week 8 Review B

[Note: I wrote the first half of this post, about trades, on Tuesday night, before any of the brouhaha about trading draft picks and all that emerged. It is with the rosy-colored glasses of nostalgia that I now look back on a time when I thought that a few simple trades might add some joy and excitement to the league.]

I just logged on the league site to see the warning up that our trade deadline is impending: November 12th. That gives you just a week and a half to complete your blockbusters. So far this season, there has been only one trade (discounting the infamous draft day Fasano Incident), when Haller traded me Matt Forte and Matt Ryan for Drew Brees. Ultimately, I think that trade has worked out well for both of us, and trades in general are fun, so I figured I'd help spur things along by taking a look at the rosters and seeing who might be in the market for a trade. Take a look, make a deal:

Sir Lucious Left Fut: Potential WR redundancy with Vincent Jackson returning; could use an RB2.

The Bro Montanas: Could part with blue-chipper Andre Johnson in exchange for help at multiple positions.

Wild Stallions: Have 5-6 reasonable starting fantasy receivers; need another RB to complement Mendenhall.

Buck Stops Here: Might have enough confidence in Matt Cassel to trade away Tom Brady's big name value.

Matt Ryan Loves Dogs: Would have four solid RBs if Mathews would take the reins; could use receiving help with Donald Driver falling off a cliff.

Chris Ivory's Black: Could probably get something in return for back-up QB Eli Manning, but not really in serious need anywhere else.

Sex with a Pharaoh: Too many tops; not enough bottoms.

Get to tradin'! While you're figuring out your blockbuster, a few more Week 8 re-caps:

BIFL - Week 8 Review B & Paper Playoffs

It's getting to (or perhaps past) that time of the season when I usually provide some kind of power rankings or statistical breakdowns or something. This season, I've decided to give my prognostication skills a little workout, so taking a cue from the Shutdown Corner blog, which features a weekly "Absurdly Premature Playoff Picture" post, I figured I'd construct my own paper playoffs for BIFL.
What was my process, you ask? Pshaw, it was nothing. But okay if you insist I'll explain: First I calculated a sort of power ranking for each team by simply adding up the scoring averages of its best QB, 2 RBs, 3 WRs, and TE (I also slightly factored in bench strength and other factors like injuries, but for the most part just pure math). I then projected the remaining record for each team, giving them a win for every team they played with a lower power ranking and a loss for every team they played with a higher ranking. Then I looked at how the projected final standings worked out, went through the playoff match-ups using the power rankings again, and predicted winners. Voila! After the jump, the exciting results...

NBD - Week 8 Review A

A few of our games are still up in the air going into tonight's Monday Night game between the Colts and Texans. Here's what to watch for fantasy-wise while you're enjoying the game, leftover Halloween candy, and perhaps a beverage or two:

Sir Lucious Left Fut vs. Chris Ivory's Black
With these two teams, the likelihood of a defensive battle or grind-it-out ground battle are extremely low, but Haller finds himself praying for just such a miracle. SLLF holds an eight-point advantage with Reggie Wayne and Kevin Walter looking to pad that lead over CIB's Mike Hart.

The Bro Montanas vs. Matt Ryan Loves Dogs
MRLD has hung up the pads for the week with a tenuous 10-point lead, which Derek's Bro Montanas will try to overcome with the help of Andre Johnson and Donald Brown.

While those results remain pending, others are already in the bag. Let's take an early look at two of them:

BIFL - Week 8 Review A

OK I've kind of sucked at doing game re-caps this year. Sorry about that. I'll try to make up for it during the remainder of the season. For starters, let's take a look at some of tonight's Menomenas.

Ass-Ramming HotCocks vs. Kurt Beran
This is the beauty of IDPs. Chuck needs 4.5 points out of Mario Williams to tie. Williams' season average is 3.5.

Juse and the Argonauts vs. Vatican Dragons
At the moment, Justin holds an 11-point lead with no one left to play. Dre has Reggie Wayne to go tonight, but if he wants to get real creative he could drop Justin Tuck (his DL on bye) and grab someone playing tonight for insurance. Or maybe he can't do that. I'm not 100% clear on how the waiver wire works anymore.

Iron Chef of Pounding Poon vs. Louwer Loudoun Tribe
This is a bit of a stretch, but it's not out of the realm of possibility for Andre Johnson to go nuts tonight. He'll need to drop at least 25, plus whatever Dwight Freeney manages from Dick's DL spot.

While those match-ups should provide plenty of excitement whilst watching tonight, a few others are already salted away. Enjoy those after the jump: