BIFL - Week 8 Review C

I'm watching Survivor right now, and this cocky-ass dude just got totally blindsided. It was awesome. Which reminds me of the Pledge Survivor I played with the Spring Naught-Naught. Dekker or Billy, do you have any funny memories of people getting blindsided during that thing? And does anyone else remember Hambone's heiroglyphic-like writing system? Anyways, it also made me think of the other night when we were watching TV at my apartment and the ad for "The Blind Side" came on and my roommate started griping about how ridiculous it was. After all, how could a blind guy play football? Awesomely retarded. I hope she's reading this, since she finally figured out the URL for this site about two months after she should have.
Let's finish off the Week 8 games...


Bardois Bourgeoisie (121) defeats Iron Chef of Pounding Poon (98)
I have never really liked Dick all that much*, but I am capable of feeling sympathy for him. This week, he merits our pity, as he has been suffering from the dreaded swine flu, quarantined from human contact (although let's be honest, that is a bonus for pretty much everyone else). And then he goes and scores the most points he's had since Week 3, and he still loses. That loss is despite legitimate outings from DeAngelo Williams and - for once - LaDainian Tomlinson (17 each). Patrick Crayton (13) also had a decent day, but that wasn't enough to overcome a lousy day by Kurt Warner (5) and the general awesomeness of Bardey's team. The Bourgies were led by Brett Favre (27), having his best day of the year against his former team. By the way, I hate focusing on Favre, but all the reports were that the fan reaction in Green Bay was "mixed." I think it was more boo than yeah, but if there were people there cheering for him, I have this piece of advice: Go shoot yourself. This old bastard doesn't give ONE FUCK about you. After spending almost his entire career in your bucolic, salt-of-the-earth town, he joined the one team that you absolutely hate just to get back at you. Are you really gonna cheer for him? Do you love Judas for all the quality years he put in as an apostle before he sold Jesus for twenty pieces of silver?
Ugh I can't believe I spent that many sentences on Favre. Anyways, like LDT, Matt Forte (24) also finally had a day worthy of first-round draft status. Braylon Edwards (13) also came to play. Jesus, this game is awash with disappointments who finally delivered on their promise.

Chip Lohmiller (114) defeats Alligator Fuckhouse (70)
I was hanging out with both of these dudes on Sunday, and didn't witness one bit of fantasy chatter between them. Pathetic. Maybe it's because Dekker was busy playing beer pong. Maybe it's because Souts knew that most of his team - Brady, Welker, Mendenhall, Miller, Wallace - was on a bye. Maybe it's because both were looking on in awe as I drank the beer and ate the food that everyone else had bought (I thought we had a tab for the table!). Either way, it was an uneventful face-off, fitting of the uneventful result. Lohmiller dominated, led as always by Maurice Jones-Drew (36). Say what you will about Adrian Peterson's consistency (and I have), but I'd love to have a guy who's had 35-point games three times this season. When met with a sub-standard defense (read: Houston, St. Louis, and this week's, Tennessee) MJD is a virtual lock to go off. And go off he did, with 177 yards and two touchdowns. Dekker's second-leading scorer was the subject of the only shit-talking I did hear all day. And it wasn't directed at Souts, but at me. Back in early September, I had my pick of the remaining non-kept elite receivers at the end of the first round. As Dekker says, Reggie Wayne was a given, and he was just weighing the remaining options. Of course, I bypassed Wayne for Anquan Boldin, who wowed me last year with his toughness coming back from the utter destruction of his face, and has perenially impressed me with the unprecedented tightness of his pants - It's hard not to be excited about a guy when you know which of his nuts hangs lower. But the Boldin selection has fucked me this year, and Wayne (22) and Dekker made sure to remind me of that this Sunday. I keep noting that Dekker is a powerhouse, in the hopes that somehow that will jinx him, but it keeps not working. Even this week, when Matt Schaub (8) under-performed, he got enough out of guys like Ray Rice (16) and DeSean Jackson (15) to win handily, topping the century mark for the sixth time in eight games. Damn.

*except for every wedding we've attended over the past 8 years, which is basically the only time I see him.