2) To determine the draft order of "The League," each owner pulls a number out of a hat. Those numbers correspond to the numbers worn by kids in a sack race, with the draft order determined by the order in which the kids finish. Brilliant! Now, only one of us (to my knowledge) has a kid, and we've probably got a few years until little Lily Anne and friends can negotiate a burlap sack. But is there any reason we shouldn't assign each of us a Kentucky Derby, Preakness, or Belmont Stakes horse each off-season and use that to determine the draft order? This would turn a quasi-interesting "sports" event into a super-interesting "sports" event every year. Commish, make it so.
On to more Week 8 games:
Merriman's Bitch Chokers (103) defeat Cholish Chachfaces (81)
Adrian Peterson was sick of scoring 18 fantasy points every week (as he had done in Weeks 5, 6, and 7). So he scored 19 instead this week, leading the Bitch Chokers to victory. I think the only other player in fantasy who's been as consistently awesome is Peyton Manning, who actually had his season-low this week with a perfectly respectable 15. It must be comforting for Will to know he can rely on those guys' production week in and week out. And increasingly, it's looking as though he was a receiver to count on as well, with Miles Austin (13) posting another double-digit performance. That would fill the void that Will had expected to be occupied by Greg Jennings this year. He hasn't done so for most of the season, but this week Jennings (14) resembled that guy at least.
Chalski's day wasn't awful, but he didn't get enough breakout performances to make it a contest. The closest he came was Vincent Jackson (18), but oddly Jackson's success didn't necessarily equate to a good outing by the guy passing him the ball, Philip Rivers (11). Apparently V-Jax was just catching passes from God. Also catching passes from a guy who fucks up all the time: Steve Smith (14), who reached double digits for the first time since Week 2. Congrats, Steve! Go back to sucking now.
Pet Monkey (95) defeats FUBAR (67)
This was pretty hideous. The only notable offensive scorers here were the quarterbacks, with Spence's Drew Brees (18) submitting a ho-hum outing (for him) and Billy's Aaron Rodgers (32) had his best day of the year so far. Unless you're Billy or Spencer, you can probably just stop reading now. You don't want to know about the Pet Monkey running backs combining for a shitty 12 points, or the FUBAR backs combining for an even shittier nine. You have no interest in the Monkey's measly 17 wide receiver points, or FUBAR's measlier 11. If, like me, you are an IDP aficionado, you may be mildly interested by the fact that Billy had two IDPs in double figures: Julius Peppers (11) and Brian Cushing (10), who I've never heard of. You may also be interested to know that those are the third- and fourth-highest scores in this contest. Yikes.
4 comments:
1) she's like a tractor beam of hotness
2) the pulling of numbers out of the hat for the horse assignments would be almost as important as the pulling of draft spots out of the hat
3) i kind of think aaron rogers has been just as consistently awesome as peterson. actually fuck that, he's been more consistently awesome.
4) why do you continue to ignore crabtree's emergence? or at least apologize for being so heinously cocksure and wrong?
1) two in a million, just like carly's ta-tas
2) right either way we're drawing numbers out of a hat, but this way we're also gambling our fantasy fates on a horse race.
3) you are totally right about aaron rodgers. i should have mentioned him here, and i received your comment in the midst of singing his praises in my NBD C review, which i encourage you to read.
4)
I love consistency when I'm picking guys.
3) i'm sure as shit not reading any burke bullshit.
unless you...
4) participate in some responsible journalism for once in your life.
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