BIFL - Week 10 Review A

Now that we've all slept through last night's boring Colts-Pats snoozefest, we can get juiced up for the exciting Browns-Ravens match-up! Can you wait to see what kind of crazy end zone celebrations Todd Heap is going to come up with? What kinds of dazzling moves is Jamal Lewis going to put on defenders tonight? Will this be another classic prime time performance out of Brady Quinn? I can barely contain myself.

No Menomena tonight, both because there aren't really any games up for grabs and out of respect for the loss we suffered today. For those of you that missed it, Ken Ober, comedian and former host of MTV's Remote Control, died of an apparent heart attack at the age of 52.


Thanks for being a part of MTV back when MTV was cool, Ken.
Also, thanks to this clip for reminding me about Kari Wuhrer. Sweet, sweet Kari Wuhrer.

OK, enough Remote Control. On to the first of this week's games:


Juse and the Argonauts (80) defeat Cholish Chachfaces (66)
There were six or seven outstanding performances in this game. Unfortunately, half of them were on the bench. Lee Evans (17), Reggie Bush (21), and Jonathan Stewart (22) all saw their best outputs of the years wasted in this one. And what they watched from the bunch was not really pretty. They all should have been impressed with Steven Jackson (27), though, who carved out 176 total yards and a touchdown against a previously strong Saints defense. Jackson is famous for exploding in the second half of the season; with 50 points in his past two games, the explosion may have already begun. With Rousseau now at 5-5, the question is whether or not the Argos can keep him in position to enjoy that explosion in Weeks 14, 15, and 16. The injury to Cedric Benson (2) on Sunday, and the fact that only Kellen Winslow (12) joined him in double-figures, suggests that they can not. It was enough to win in Week 10, however, because the Chachfaces performance was uninspired at best. Philip Rivers (17) had a decent day, but almost none of his passes went to Vincent Jackson (1), leaving a scoring vacuum on the Cholish roster. Steve Smith 1.0 (15) stepped up to fill it, but everyone else wilted in fear. Ten combined points from the running backs? Two scoreless IDPs? It's no wonder Chalski was the lowest-scorer in the league this week.

Alligator Fuckhouse (100+) defeats Merriman's Bitch Chokers (98)
You ready for some eerie shit? Here's what I wrote on Sunday morning in previewing this game: "Shoaf does have Adrian Peterson going against the Lions, but Detroit has been a little softer against the pass than the run, so Souts' Sidney Rice may be able to match his success. The most exciting aspect of this game (besides the big brother-little brother drama) is that the same Manning-Brady match-up we'll all be watching on Sunday night will be played out fantasy-wise here. I think the Colts are going to win that game, but I'm giving the fantasy win to Brady's team, Alligator Fuckhouse." So what happened? Well, Adrian Peterson and Sidney Rice had exactly the same number of points (24). Manning and Brady did play in an exciting match-up, which the Colts won. But Brady did outscore Manning (29 to 27), and as of pre-MNF that difference is the margin of victory in the game. Do you hear the choirs of angels singing as a golden shaft of light breaks through the clouds, shining down upon me and my laptop? I am a soothsayer!
Ultimately, those four players tell the story of this game. There were a few other decent showings - Ricky Williams, 12, and Brent Celek, 10 for the Bitch Chokers; Thomas Jones, 14 for the Fuckhouse - but the Minny-Detriot game and the New England-Indy game were essentially all you needed to watch to see the Fuckhouse knock one of the top records in the league down a peg.