BIFL - Week 6 Review A

Las week I published my first Power Rankings of the season, so of course immediately this weekend people started to prove me wrong, foremost among them my good buddy Steve Soutendijk and the last-ranked team in the league...


FUBAR (115+) defeats I'm Here for the Gangbang (88)
OK, I'm ready to eat some crow on ranking FUBAR #12, but let's be honest: this win was all about Drew Brees (32), who threw four touchdowns this week. Quoting from the rankings: "Brees is traditionally an A+ quarterback, but the Saints' recent focus on the run game and defense has hurt his value a bit." So yesterday they let him throw and he delivered an A+ performance. No surprise there. The real surprise was Hakeem Nicks (20), who has now posted 43 points over the past three weeks, after just one point in his first three. Also chipping in were the running backs, whose position received a D in the rankings. Brian Westbrook and Cadillac Williams are still not the best backfield in the league, but they did combine for a respectable 27 points on Sunday (14 for Westbrook, 13 for Williams). That constitutes the best RB output by a FUBAR duo so far this season, and with two IDPs going tonight, Spence will continue to extend his already-sizable margin over his previous top scoring performance from Week 1. Chuckles' team had some good performances on Sunday despite the loss. Joe Flacco (27) was fourth among quarterbacks on a day full of spectacular quarterback play. Steve Slaton (20) had his biggest day of the year so far, and Roddy White (13) was respectable. The problem for the Gangbangers was not in how good their top players weren't, but in how bad their bad players were. Antonio Bryant (3) continued a season of ineptitude, Justin Gage (1) was even more worthless, and Willis McGahee (0) did absolutely nothing, which will be a possibility all season long when the Ravens don't put themselves in goal-line situations. With those kinds of bed-shits, it's hard to take even the best of individual performances elsewhere to a victory.

Pet Monkey (122) defeats Ass-Ramming HotCocks (81+)
To judge by his Smackboard chatter, Billy seems to think I gave him short shrift in the Power Rankings, claiming that he forwarded the grades to his players as bulletin board fodder. But frankly, I thought I did a pretty good job of giving the Monkey the respect they deserved. After all, I did rank them fifth in the league despite their winless record, and acknowledged in my own ranking (one spot higher) that I thought the fourth-, fifth-, and sixth-ranked teams were all essentially equivalent. Of course, Billy almost certainly didn't read that part, busy as he is sunning himself, hanging with the Hills' Speidi, and frosting his hair. Billy's players, on the other hand, were involved in no such frivolous tasks, putting their efforts into beating my ass instead. Randy Moss (34) led the charge, though I will point out that while everyone is declaring Brady-to-Moss "back," this happened against the Titans, who have 0 wins and couldn't score a point in a game where the Patriots scored one million. Aaron Rodgers (22), a Southern California prettyboy who fits right in with the PM ethos, was also instrumental in the dismantling of the HotCocks. Besides those two monsters, solid days across the board (Derrick Mason's 15, Donald Driver and David Akers' 12, and Clinton Portis's 11) helped Billy to his first win and his highest point total of 2009. Of note for the losing HotCocks was Marques Colston's 24-point day, but the rest of the team looked very average this Sunday.

To watch tonight: If Brian Dawkins can find a way to cobble together more than 9 points, Charm City can overtake the Bitch Chokers... The Chachfaces need a mere 14 points from Knowshon Moreno, Vincent Jackson, and Nate Kaeding to beat the Iron Chef of Pounding Poon.