NBD - Week 5 Review A

Having spent Sunday on Trost's couch, rather than my usual perch in front of fifty TVs at an NYC beeratorium, and Monday night on an over-heated  bus, I have no idea what happened in the majority of this weekend's games. I feel both under-informed to write these reviews and excited at finding out what the fuck happened. Here we go:


The Death Panel (105) defeats ConsultaBingo-Caller (67)
This is, hopefully, the only game Matt Cassel will ever start for me. If Drew Brees isn't healthy, or isn't playing at a level where he's an automatic start, my team is done. So I never want to see Cassel in the line-up again. But he came through for me (21 pts) this one week when I needed him, and I love him for that. Granted, his scoring wasn't strictly necessary, as it was a strong day across the board for Death Panellers. Andre Johnson (22) led us, with 101 yards and two touchdowns, and Ray Rice (20) was right behind and is now averaging nearly 14 points a game even with Willis McGahee vulturing all those touchdowns. I'll take that and the chance of him breaking long touchdowns as he did this week. Jamal Lewis (12) and waiver-wire pick-up Michael Bush (10) mucked in as well. That transaction worked out for me, but Haller may be worried about his own big acquisition, Calvin Johnson (0). Matt traded for Megatron a few weeks back and now gets an 0-fer and a potential injury problem. Yikes. That performance pretty much set the tone for the rest of the Bingo-Callers, though Ahmad Bradshaw had a heck of a day (29). At this point, Bradshaw is definitively out-producing Brandon Jacobs. I did not see that coming.

Roger's Oyster Lunch (87) defeats Bartelby (64)
Thank god, Ray's shittiness finally caught up with him, ending his hugely undeserved undefeated streak. Ray J had four usual starters on Bye this week, forcing him to press Derrius Heyward-Bey and recent pick-up Donnie Avery into action. That half-worked, as Avery (15) was the team's top offensive scorer, though Heyward-Bey (0) didn't catch a thing. Notice how I said "top offensive scorer" in that last sentence? That's because Bartelby was led in scoring by the Giants Defense (16). Being led by your defense is not typically a good thing, but it worked out fine for Roger's Oyster Lunch, whose Seahawks D racked up 25 points this week. Tony Romo (21) also had a nice week, which is fucking annoying, and Marshawn Lynch (13) had a decent day and out-played Fred Jackson, which is also fucking annoying considering that I own Freddie in another league. This win will bring ROL to 3-2, which is amazing considering that they're the lowest-scoring team in the league. Again, I find this to be fucking annoying.