BIFL - Week 5 Review B

Diving right into this:
I'm Here for the Gangbang (93) defeats Pet Monkey (89)
Billy recently wondered aloud whether he was cursed by the fantasy gods for some reason, potentially for the fact of only reading his own game re-caps and no one else's. If we look to this game for an answer to that pondering, we find a resounding yes. Pet Monkey got the best days of the season so far from Matt Cassel (20) and Clinton Portis (18). His best player, Ronnie Brown, had a strong day (20). And he played an opponent whose whose offensive players, minus one guy, averaged less than five points. But who was that one guy? It was Roddy White, of course, 2nd-best scorer of the week (41 pts). White, you may remember, was Billy's 4th-round keeper who had previously scored all of 17 points this season. Last week, Billy traded him (along with Willis McGahee) to Chuck for Randy Moss. This week? Roddy set the Atlanta franchise record for receiving yards and scored two touchdowns. Moss caught one pass for 36 yards, and was overthrown in the endzone by Tom Brady. Guess it's time for you to start reading all my bullshit, Billy, not just the bullshit about you. Chuck, meanwhile, has clearly done something right. Not only did the Moss-White trade work out in his favor, but he also got a lucky boost from his IDPs, as James Harrison of the Steelers put together multiple sacks and a forced fumble en route to an 11-point day that pushed the Gangbang over the top despite 0-fers from Justin Gage and the newly-acquired McGahee.

Bardois Bourgeoisie (122) defeats Alligator Fuckhouse (104)
I was out of town this weekend, so I missed the chance to follow along with these two as their high-scoring match-up unfolded. It was an exciting one, with 11 total players in double figures and two of the top three scores in the league. Souts' output was amazingly balanced, though not quite as balanced as this incredible idiot:

Six of Souts' players were in the teens, within five points of each other: Thomas Jones and Rashard Mendenhall (16 each); Tom Brady and Wes Welker (14 each); Mike Wallace (13) and Heath Miller (11). Jeez, I just noticed that those six players come from only three teams. Diversify your portfolio, Souts! Despite that incredible balance, though, Fuckhouse's fortunes still managed to tumble down the cliffside into the Alpine valley below thanks to the receiving studs on Doit's team. Bardey had been a little down on this group to start the season, but with Brandon Marshall returing to form (19 this week, 48 in the past three), Andre Johnson (24) showing that he might be the best receiver in the league, and Braylon Edwards (12 on the bench) seizing the day after his trade to the Jets, the Bourgeoisie are feeling haute-er and haute-er. Add in the fact that Ahmad Bradshaw (30) is apparently the biggest threat in the Giants backfield, and that Jared Allen (11) is the best IDP in the land right now, and you've got a potential powerhouse.