NBD - Week 7 Review B

Halloween's nearly upon us, and I've been searching for a costume. I was originally slated to go as El Guapo, along with three other dudes who were gonna be Lucky Day, Dusty Bottoms, and Ned Neiderlander, but then the ringleader flaked and that plan fell through. (Also, I had to shave my El Guapo 'stache for a job interview.) Anyways, it's now looking like I'm going with a group of people doing a Price is Right theme, and I'm going to be Hans the Yodeler from the "Cliff Hangers" game.


This is a pretty uninspired Halloween costume, as I feel most of my adult Halloween costumes have been. I was much cleverer when I was a kid, with my peak probably coming when I was 13 and went as one of the Menendez brothers (I think I chose Lyle because it was a creepier name for a murderer). For those that don't remember, the Menendez bros were a pair of spoiled rich kids who murdered their parents in cold blood with a shotgun and tried to play it off as a mob killing. After they received their inheritance they spent the next six months blowing it all on cars, penthouse aparments, tennis coaches(?), and blow. This may have raised the suspicions of the police. The case was memorably parodied by Ben Stiller as the Sam and Stan Sweet trial in The Cable Guy featuring Eric Roberts as both Sam and Stan in "Brother, Sweet Brother." Ultimately, going as an actual murderer instead of Dracula or a ghost or whatever is probably not the most morally unassailable thing I ever did, but for a 13-year old kid I thought it was pretty timely and clever. I want to be clear, though: Commandant Lassard does not endorse patricide. Still, it is interesting that with Halloween only a few days away, and with the Menendez case fresh on my mind, I look to my upcoming match-up and see who else but my own father. Watch out, Ray.

On to the remaining Week 7 games:

Globo de Aire Mi Equipo (128) defeats Harry Lance Hannibal (71)
Are all those trades starting to pay off for Matt Haller? Absolutely. The top three offensive scorers for the Globo this week were Philip Rivers (25), Vincent Jackson (20), and DeAngelo Williams (20). All three of those guys were acquired via trade - see last week's game re-caps for an indepth breakdown. This Equipo was also bolstered by solid days from the Giants defense (21), Sidney Rice (14), and Joseph Addai (13). Of those, only one player was drafted by Haller back in August. Matt might be our best post-draft owner, routinely working the waiver wire and trading block to great effect. He did the same thing last year, making more moves than all but one owner in the league, and winning himself a champion. That practice resulted in a slim crop of possible keepers this year, but now that we're allowing free agent pick-ups to be kept, there'll be no such effect in 2010. I only hope that the 1-5 start is enough to keep him out of the play-offs. As for Harry Lance Hannibal, their shots at the waiver wire keep missing (on a related note, R.C. White once told me that if you saw my dad at the shooting range, you'd think that he had one lazy eye and the other one closed). This week's misfire was Chad Henne, whose 6-point outing, while awful, at least maintains consistency at the position for HLH. Ray had a few strong showings, with Ryan Grant (21) breaking out his best day this year and Devin Hester (14) breaking 100 yards, but ultimately there was too much mediocrity on this squad to expect anything but a loss.

Mental Errors (134) defeat Deuceburger (78)
Last night was the draft for the Cluj University Fantasy Basketball League, and I made the enormous mistake of including Elliott this year. Other than arguing with DeYoung over college athletics, I'm not sure that anything makes Elliott happier than proving me wrong in fantasy sports. And now I've given him another opportunity to do so, on top of the way he's been doing it recently here in NBD. A few weeks back, I ranked Elliott seventh in the power rankings (I will note that that is higher than I ranked myself) and gave both his quarterback and running backs D's. I want to point out that those grades were based purely on production to that point, and none of my opinion, so they can't really be criticized, but E saw it as fuel anyway. And since then he has won both of his games, averaging 114 points. And who led this week's victory? A quarterback and a running back, of course. Tom Brady (23) looked like his old self for the second straight week, though I will point out that both performances have been against miserable teams. Then again, the NFL is full of miserable teams this year so maybe Tom Terrific can keep it up. The other leading Mental Error was Ricky Williams (27). This brings Ricky to eighth among fantasy running backs this season. Incredible. You know, I spent the mid-aughts not playing professional football and smoking copious amounts of pot; do you think I could step into the NFL and average fifteen fantasy points a week? I'm ready to give it a shot.
On second thought, maybe not.
As for the 'Burger, this shit writes itself: Schaub good? Check (19). Peterson good? Check (19). Rest of the team sucking? Check.

Wild Stallions (92) defeat Woody's Warriors (88)
This was a tight match-up that wasn't decided until Monday night. DeYoung entered the game trailing by four points, but with Chris Cooley and Jeremy Maclin playing, he must have felt pretty confident. Of course, that was before Cooley came down funny on his ankle and came up using his feet to demonstrate what a right angle looks like. Luckily(?) for DeYoung, Maclin (5) got just enough to overtake the Warriors. The game was only this close because despite big performances from Aaron Rodgers (24), the Pats Defense (19), and Nate Kaeding (13), the Stallions' running backs - thought to be among the league's elite by Deezer - brought next to nothing to the table (5 for Mendenhall, 4 for Thomas). Woody had some good days from the Steelers D (21) and Thomas Jones (18), but little else. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: no matter how good they do, it's never good news if your defense or kicker lead you in scoring.