Monday Morning Dump

I don't know if this will become a regular feature, or even if I'll ever do it again, but back in fantasy basketball season, I published a daily "Morning Dump," highlighting that day's "Hot Shit" (top performance), "Loose Stool" (biggest disappointment), and "Upper Decker" (best day left on the bench). Since it's 1am, and since I just woke up from a 5-hour passout (Damn you, car bombs! [raises fist to sky] DAMN YOU, CAR BOMBS!), and since I don't have a job to go to tomorrow morning: here is your Morning Dump

Hot Shit:
Steve Smith (Charm City Murder, I'm at the Pizza Hut)
11 receptions, 134 yards, 2 touchdowns

Loose Stool:
LaDainian Tomlinson (Iron Chef of Pounding Poon, Roger's Oyster Lunch)
7 carries, 15 yards, 1 reception, -1 yards

Upper Decker:
Rashard Mendenhall (Alligator Fuckhouse *)
29 carries, 165 yards, 2 receptions, 26 yards, 2 touchdowns

*Note: Mendenhall is on Woody's Warriors in NBD, but Woody actually started him, so didn't qualify as an Upper Decker)

Also: I'm watching DVR'd Saturday Night Live right now. Two things: 1) the Norwegian actors skit is funny, and proves that Armisen is the modern Hartman in terms of making any sketch he's in at least kind of funny; 2) okay, Lady Gaga. You've convinced me. I like "Paparazzi."