NBD - Week 4 Review A

Well, tonight we finally get to see the ol' fucktard take on his former team, and hopefully the weeks of media coverage and stories of vengeance and sentimentality can be put to bed. In watching the build-up, I just saw Michele Tafoya detail a conversation she'd had with Aaron Rodgers (who - would you believe it? - is also playing in tonight's game) in which he used another tired figure that needs to be retired. When asked if the crowd noise at the Metrodome would be a disadvantage, Rodgers answered "Yeah, but it is what it is." Can we please retire this useless phrase? Say what you will about coach-speak, or "Both teams played hard" style empty post-game blather, but at least most of the bullshit espoused by athletes and coaches can be parsed into some kind of meaning. "It is what it is" literally means nothing at all. The answer "Yeah, but it is what it is" means absolutely the same thing as simply saying "Yeah." I wish I were a professional athlete or talking head, so that I could give interviews and answer questions with phrases like "Yeah, but stuff can be things" and then have it repeated on national television as though it's some pearl of wisdom. I realize that the readership of this blog represents about one billionth of a percent of the sports-watching world and absolutely zero percent of the professional sports-playing world, but if we brave few begin the process of refusing to accept this empty, worthless cliche, maybe someday we can see it eradicated in the world at large.

As always, some games have been decided before Monday Night Football even begins. Those write-ups, after the jump.


Burke City Giants (125) defeat Roger's Oyster Lunch (51)

I don't know how the fuck Roger's Oyster Lunch won two games before this. It's especially embarrassing that one of them was against me, but unless someone on this team starts stepping up, those might be their last wins for a while. The Lunch was led this week by the Cincinnati defense, who scored 13 points. That is the lone double-digit scorer for Derek this week. Wow. This team and the Burke City Giants are nearly exact opposites. If Michael's team had a potential weakness heading into this week, it was that Steve Slaton had not been nearly as good as anticipated - well, that worry was cast aside for one game at least. Slaton (19) had 86 overall yards and two touchdowns, by far his best outing of the season. Amongst offensive Giants, Slaton was topped only by Peyton Manning (21), who continues to look like he's working on an MVP-caliber season both in fantasy and actual football. Amazingly, though, Manning's big day was nearly doubled by the Giants' highest scorer, the 49ers defense. Taking on the utterly miserable St. Louis Rams, the Niners pitched a shutout and caused multiple turnovers, with one interception returned for a touchdown. Ultimately that led to 39 points, which is the most I can ever recall a defense scoring. As if this undefeated asshole needed any more help, he's still got Mason Crosby kicking tonight.

Woody's Warriors (111) defeat 0-3 But Not a Skins Fan (58)

Considering that that 39-pointer is amongst the best defensive performances in fantasy history, I feel comfortable declaring Woody's Warriors the winner in this one despite the fact that Koehler still has the Green Bay defense playing tonight. If the Packers D gets 60+ points tonight, I'll eat my words, but for now it looks like this team has a name change coming. 0-4 looks a good sight worse than the Skins' 2-2, though I'll admit there was nothing impressive about Washington's slim margin of victory over a lousy Tampa Bay team. No such slim margin in this match-up, though, as Woody put up some gigantic numbers for a team that was previously winless. Rashard Mendenhall (31), of course, is the big story this week, having scored roughly 25 points more than his previous  fantasy high. Mendenhall was not the only Warrior to go big this week, though, as Woody watched his boy Antonio Gates (24) justify his ridiculous draft position, if only for one game, and new arrivals Jay Cutler (20) and Knowshon Moreno (12) made positive contributions in their first week in Warrior red.

Enjoy tonight's game. Despite all the Favre hoo-ha I think it'll be a good one. Try to remember that Adrian Peterson, Aaron Rodgers, Greg Jennings, and Percy Harvin are all exciting and talented NFL players, even though you won't hear their names mentioned once.