BIFL - Week 4 Review C

First, I'd like to introduce you guys to my new girlfriend:

Her name is Manuela Arbelaez, and she's one of the Beauties on the Price is Right. We fell in love over a new dinette set. She told me those tatas and more could be mine IF... the price is right.

Next I'd like to remind you to check in on the Crabtree Watch over in the margin before moving on to read the last of this week's re-caps, after the jump.

The Iron Chef of Pounding Poon (74) defeats Merriman's Bitch-Chokers (66)

Fuck. This was supposed to be a quality Menomena, and ended up as a big fat turd laid by two guys who've seen more excitement on a fruitless trip to King's Dominion. In Monday night's Favre slobberfest, Will needed Adrian Peterson and Greg Jennings to score 18 more points than Ryan Longwell. That would seem to be an easy task, considering that coming into the game Peterson was averaging over 20 points a game, Jennings was averaging 8, and Longwell was a kicker. And yet these two were seemingly just as enthralled with Favre's childlike love of the game as Ron Jaworski and Jon Gruden, combining for a mere 13 points (Peterson and Jennings did, that is, not Jaworski and Gruden... though if fantasy points were given out for use of the phrase "Look at this guy!" they'd be my top two draft picks). Anyways, with those two useless, Shoaf's team was essentially reduced to Peyton Manning (22), who had a nice day, but not enough to win a game all by his lonesome. Keep in mind, the Iron Chef was hardly spitting hot fire (his starting RBs combined for 2 points), but at least he had a few good days: Carson Palmer (17), Santana Moss (16), and Hines Ward (13). Shoaf, I hope it feels good to think that you might have won if you'd only played Ricky Williams.

Chip Lohmiller (128) defeats Pet Monkey (107)

On his smackboard, Billy professed that he "hate[s] fantasy football with every ounce of [his] being," but it's hard to see why. After all, two of his players, Aaron Rodgers (24) and Ronne Brown (25), were among the top seven scorers in all of fantasy in Week 4. He has a running back, Willis McGahee, who is leading the league in rushing touchdowns. He has a receiver, Derrick Mason, who despite being retired over the summer has scored 35 points in his past two games. And his draft-day gamble, Michael Crabtree, may have just paid off as he will soon, finally, be donning the red and gold of the 49ers. What could he have to complain about? Maybe it's that, despite all these factors in his favor, he's still winless on the season. Maybe it's because his 107 points would have beaten every single other BIFL team this week except for the one he played. Maybe it's because this is his fifth consecutive loss to his Spring Naught Naught rival, Dekker. It might even be because he realizes that he made the wrong move leaving NYC behind for dipshit Hollywood (although why that would make him hate fantasy, as opposed to life itself, is difficult to explain). The reason he managed to lose again this week is because Dekker put together another big game, his second week in a row to lead the league in scoring. The source, however, was a little different. The Lohmiller big guns, Matt Schaub and Maurice Jones-Drew, were decidedly quiet this week (10 and 9, respectively), and even Reggie Wayne's performance (13) was good, not great. No, it was the lower half of the Lohmiller roster that really got things going. Antonio Gates (26) scored more points this game than he had all season. Mike Sims-Walker (21) showed that he is clearly the new #1 option in Jacksonville, and that for the first time since Jimmy Smith, that might actually mean something. And Patrick Willis (16) led all IDPs in scoring. Nice job, Dekker. You've really got a little run of success going here. I've got a feeling your whole damn Dutch familie is giong down, jongen.