BIFL - Week 1 Review C

Quick note: this year, instead of putting out a full week's worth of game reviews in one post, I'll be spreading them out over a few days. This makes it easier on me in that I can spend a little time each day writing instead of several hours on Tuesday or Wednesday night, and better for you in that you can check Commandant Lassard almost any day and there will be some new content, and if you (gasp) don't check every day, you can just scroll down and see what you missed.

If you're just tuning in, don't miss Week 1 Part A and Part B.

I'm Here for the Gangbang (96) defeats the Iron Chef of Pounding Poon (79)
Occasionally I like to troll the scoreboards on a Monday afternoon, see which games are likely to be affected by the Monday Night Football game, and declare the one most up for grabs... the Monday Night Match-Up(!). This designation carries no weight. It's probably noticed by one or two people, if that. It raises my level of anticipation from slight to modest. But it makes me feel good to give things titles, and when I capitalize things, in my head it sounds like Don Pardo is reading it. And thus: the Monday Night Match-Up. This week's MNMU featured (I Now Pronounce You) Chuck and Dick. After Sunday, it was a tight contest at 71 - 69.5. That slight edge was held by Chuck after a 17-point day from Matt Ryan, 16 each from Frank Gore and Roy Williams, and an amazing 12 IDP points from Osi Umenyiora. Dick had answered with a strong IDP of his own in London Fletcher (10 pts), and decent efforts from DeAngelo Williams (13), Kurt Warner (11), and Hines Ward (10). So the MNMU (or "menomuna") came down to Chuck's Randy Moss and Stephen Gostkowski against Dick's LaDainian Tomlinson. Unfortunately, as Bardey pointed out on the smackboard, this ain't 2006. Randy Moss is no longer turd burgling in Oakland, and LaDainian Tomlinson is no longer Superman. So Dick got pasted. Next time I lay a menomuna on you guys, it better be fucking better than this.

Juse and the Argonauts (76) defeat Pet Monkey (64)
On Sunday morning, I predicted that this face-off would be unexciting, and it was. I also posed a number of questions that were raised by the match-up. Here is what I came up with: late 2008; so far, yes; doesn't look like it - maybe the receivers do matter; eh - not yet, but maybe getting there; yes, indeed, Cedric Benson; nailed it anyway.
Aaron Rodgers (16) had a pretty good day for Juse. I wish he were my quarterback. Cedric Benson (16) had a pretty good day for Billy. I still don't wish he were my running back. But I might, in a couple weeks.

So that's it for the Week 1 wrap-up.
With this being the fifth anniversary of the opening season of the modern BIFL, as well as the last season of the '00s, and with me having a lot of time on my hands, I've been working on some historical shit. The first of that will be coming out in a couple days, and then I'll be doing Previews & Predictions for Week 2, so keep your eyes peeled.