NBD - Week 6 Review

It's already Saturday morning, I haven't written any game re-caps yet, and I'm a little hungover. So I'm just gonna remind you all to vote on the Return Touchdown issue in the post below and then dive right in:


Chris Ivory's Black (104) defeats Sex with a Pharaoh (74)
Last week, after posting Sam Cooke's "Bring it on Home to Me" as the Classic Soul Jam of the Week, I was belatedly informed by Colly that soul legend Solomon Burke had passed away. So I kind of disrespected his memory by not making last week's Jam one of his, and this week I continue to disrespect him by using "If You Need Me" for the weakest Classic Soul Jam High Scorer of the Week thus far this season. Haller barely cracked the century mark, but in what turned out to be a pretty lame week for fantasy, that was enough to top NBD. Chalk it up to the Cardinals, Bills, Panthers, and Bengals being on byes, I guess. Wait... those teams suck. I don't know why nobody scored last week. Of the few players who did have strong weeks, Sex with a Pharaoh's DeSean Jackson (20) was probably headed for the best before a nasty concussive hit took him out of the game. Had he continued to score at the pace he was going, he might have single-handedly taken out Haller's team. It would have had to be single-handed, too, because the only other SwaP player in double digits was Adrian Peterson (13). Chris Ivory's Black was fortunate to have more than one point-producer in Week 6, though Drew Brees (22) stands out at the top. Like DeSean Jackson, Joseph Addai (17) managed to have a productive day despite sustaining an injury in the game. I loved this quote: "Addai told the Indianapolis Star that his shoulder is 'just dead and needs to wake up'." Apparently Addai never had his hamster die when he was a boy, giving his parents the chance to explain that when a beloved pet dies, it's never going to wake up, sweetie. Haller will hope that the shoulder is merely asleep.

Burke City Giants (98) defeat Latres on the Menjay (84)
Maybe I'm wrong about this having been an off week for fantasy, or at least about the reasons why. I was assuming there weren't any studs, but in this game along we had big days out of Peyton Manning (18) and Arian Foster (22) for the Giants and Tony Romo (23), Andre Johnson (20) and LaDainian Tomlinson (19) for the Menjays. It would appear that the shittiness is coming from unusually low numbers out of the support players, like Derek's trio of two-pointers, Laurence Maroney, the Atlanta D/ST, and Malcom Floyd. While those three underwhelmed, the Giants are being driven by a powerful threesome of their own in the form of a running back corps that includes this season's biggest breakout, Arian Foster, an Ahmad Bradshaw (14) who is rapidly busting up any notion of the G-Men having a committee situation, and Jamaal Charles (11), who seems bound to get more and more of the load as the season continues.

Sir Lucious Left Fut (98) defeats McClusterfuck (84)
In his four wins prior to Week 6, Elliott had relied heavily on the consistently awesome scoring of Antonio Gates. So when Gates went down with a mere point in this one, Sir Lucious must have been concerned, and looked elsewhere for scoring. Unfortunately for me, he found it in season-best days from Thomas Jones (17), the Titans' D (17), and Rob Bironas (12). Along with an outstanding performance from Aaron Rodgers (23), that was more than enough to put my sorry ass away. I don't really want to talk about how my top two RB picks, Shonn Greene and Felix Jones, combined for 14 points, or how that's actually a pretty good week compared to the rest of their season, okay? Just leave it alone.

Finga Sniffs (96) defeat Buck Stops Here (88)
Does everyone hate my dad? I mean, I would totally understand if everyone did; he's obnoxious, arrogant, and with his advancing age, increasingly difficult to understand. But most of you haven't had to deal with him your whole lives, as I have, and so wouldn't seem to have much reason to despise him as I do. And yet, you guys love to score on him this season. With 659 points against Buck Stops Here, Ray's opponents are averaging an ungodly 110 a week, and while Manning did not quite reach that mark in their match-up, he did outscore his average by 14 points. Much of that scoring came from Ryan Torain (23), who proved himself as a quality mid-season pick-up, even if it was against the porous run defense of the Colts. If he can keep it up, and if Chris Johnson (19) can consistently produce without the 3- and 4-point outings of weeks 2 and 4, the Sniffs may nose themselves into the playoff picture. If Greg Jennings (19) can maintain the momentum of his first double-digit performance since week 1, that wouldn't hurt either. As far as Buck Stops Here, I'm not sure what to tell them. With Tom Brady (14), Frank Gore (15), Anquan Boldin (12), and the Pittsburgh D (16), this is a good squad. At some point, you'd have to expect the luck to start evening out; but a 1-5 start is not going to be an easy hole to dig out of. At least he got the good news this week that Devin Hester will continue to receive credit for his return touchdowns. Yay!

Matt Ryan Loves Dogs (91) defeats Worthless (79)
Koehler's team takes its name from the replacement of a disgraced and publicly reviled quarterback with a kinder, gentler option. But they took their victory this week from the return (and dominance) of another disgraced and publicly reviled quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger (22). Roethlisberger replaces Joe Flacco, who had a rough couple weeks to start the season but has since been pretty good, so MRLD may have a trade-bait situation on its hands. Apparently, Dwayne Bowe (23) was excited about the change, posting his best numbers of the season. And Roy Williams (15) doesn't really care, he's just going to keep having his best fantasy season in recent memory regardless of who is throwing him the virtual ball. He now has 53 points over the last three weeks, which is not something I thought I'd be writing about Roy Williams this season, or ever. All that MRLD passing offense was enough to defeat a strong running day out of Worthless' Steven Jackson (17). Jackson's performance, combined with Kyle Orton's (15) and Pierre Garcon's (16), might have been enough to bring home a win if the heretofore studly Hakeem Nicks hadn't shit the bed (1).

Woody's Warriors (91) defeat Wild Stallions (70)
Leaving a 21-point receiving day and a 14-point running day on your  bench is never a good way to win a fantasy football game, so we probably shouldn't be surprised that the Wild Stallions, whose bench featured Calvin Johnson and Justin Forsett, lost this game. Instead, the Stallions featured an active high scorer of Rashard Mendenhall (16), and only one other player in double-digits: Philip Rivers (13). They were met by a Warrior squad that was individually unspectacular but excellent across the board. Jay Cutler, Brandon Marshall, Brandon Jacobs, Tony Gonzalez, Michael Crabtree, and Stephen Gostkowski all scored somewhere between 11 and 16 points, and you have to love it when that kind of consistency is rewarded with a victory. Nicely done, Warriors.