BIFL - Week 4 Review B

A couple weeks back, I played a little game with Doit, Souts, Jesse and E-Bardey at the sports bar, where we attempted to choose the current and throwback jersey we'd wear for each NFL team, if we had to. We didn't make it all the way through, as the Redskins-Texans game that was ongoing at the time became kind of intense, but I think we were only a division or two shy of the full 32. Anyways, I figured I'd mention it here and throw it open to you guys in the Comments. Any inspired choices out there?
OK. On to the rest of the games...

Pet Monkey (97) defeats Your Stepdad (96)
Whoo! This was a tight one, and came right down to Monday night with an unexpected conclusion. After Sunday's games, Dekker held a 6.5-point lead, with Randy Moss and IDP Yeremiah Ball yet to play. Billy had Stephen Gostkowski, but he didn't strike me as much of a threat to outscore Moss/Ball by 6.5. Of course, as we all probably know by now, Randy Moss ended his Patriots career with a catch-less, nearly target-less night, and while Ball's seven tackles were laudable, they weren't enough to match the sheer legpower of the Great Gostkowski (11). In retrospect, we probably should have known that Randy was gonna lay an egg, considering the performances of the other top wideouts in this match-up. Pet Monkey's Santana Moss and Mike Sims-Walker: 0 points.Your Stepdad's Steve Smith: 1 point. It's actually kind of amazing that either of these teams even approached the century mark, but Your Stepdad got an unexpected boost out of Terrell Owens (34), having his best fantasy day in years. And for the winners, the receiver shitfest was overcome thanks to Maurice Jones-Drew's first MJD-like day of the 2010 season (25 pts), as well as solid outings by Aaron Rodgers (17), DeAngelo Williams (15), and Donald Driver (14). I was lucky enough to be sitting next to Dekker at the incomparable Barrow Street Ale House for Monday night's game, and I can tell you that the only thing that bummed Dekker out more than his fantasy loss was the storm brewing over his attempts to give your children scholarship money. Most fraternity presidents see what a thankless job it is after one year and get the fuck out. Dekker's made a lifetime commitment of it. God bless you, Ben.

Cholish Chachfaces (89) defeat Louwer Loudoun Tribe (75)
I can not read the name "Mike Tolbert" without pronouncing it in my internal monologue to rhyme with Stephen Colbert. Now that I've planted that seed, I hope the same will be true for you. I also can't read his name without being grateful for a solid week of scoring as a somewhat desperate sub (he's on my Uberleague team), and presumably neither can Chalski. Tolbert (remember: toll-BEAR) was second in scoring in the winning effort to Calvin Johnson (20). Beyond those two, it didn't take much else to defeat a Tribe team that suffered from the late loss of Andre Johnson (Bardey's only replacements were 1 o'clock gamers, and AJ's scratch wasn't announced 'til later in the day). Doit has two strong quarterbacks in Tom Brady and Kyle Orton, but he played the wrong one this week (Brady's active 10 vs. Orton's benched 22), and a trade seems in the offing if he wants to avoid a repeat of my 2008 Roethlisberger/McNabb conundrum.

Cow Fister (88) defeats Iron Chef of Pounding Poon (80)
The commentary over Dick's failure to field a replacement for the injured Pierre Thomas or start a kicker of any kind has already been discussed via e-mail, so I won't get into it here. But let me just say that after years of advocating for removing Dick from the league on the basis of being a horrible human being, I am glad that we now have a second (more legitimate?) rationale. Keep up the poor management, BD. As for Will, he really lucked out here in keeping his undefeated season alive. Adrian Peterson was on a bye and Austin Collie notched a touchdown but was unspectacular (9 pts), so it fell to Peyton Manning (22) and unlikely hero Zach Miller (21) to carry the Fisters to victory. That's all I have to say about this game.

I'll end by noting that I'm watching "The League" right now. It's the FX show about a fantasy football league. I watched a few episodes last year, which I deemed a dud. There are a lot of lousy elements to the show, first and foremost the fact that it's an 8-man league, but after having watched three episodes of the second season, I am ready to declare it a decent show. I'd like to publicly apologize to Billy Meyers, who insisted from the beginning that it was pretty good. I'd also like to publicly apologize to Justin, who plays "Taco" on the show. If I had known from the beginning that you were involved, Juse, I would not have talked shit.