In two weeks, when each of my fantasy teams bows ingloriously out of the playoffs, I'm likely to gnash my teeth, hang my head in shame, and wonder why it is that I spend hour upon hour, season after season putting so much time and effort into this imaginary game that brings me so much pain and sorrow. When I do, I will try to remind myself of last night, when everything that could go well for my fantasy portfolio did. Let's take this league by league, from the least miraculous to the most:
BIFL: Ass-Ramming HotCocks (me) vs. Charm City Murder (Andre)
After Sunday: Andre held a 20-point lead (97.5-77) with no one left to play. I held a good chance of catching him, with a trio of Saints (Pierre Thomas, Marques Colston, and Robert Meachem) left to go. I felt confident, but with Thomas splitting carries with Bell, Colston coming off of a few down weeks, and Meachem catching about two passes a week (fortunately, they were usually touchdown passes), there was no guarantee.
On Monday Night: With the Saints offense clicking on all cylinders, this went from a Menomena to a phenomenal ass-whupping. When Robert Meachem caught a 38-yard touchdown pass with 1:50 left in the first half, the HotCocks went ahead and never looked back.
Final Score: HotCocks 123, Murder 97.5
NBD: The Death Panel (me) vs. Woody's Warriors (Sherwood)
After Sunday: Woody held a seemingly insurmountable 52-point lead (101.6-49.4) but was done for the week. Still to play for the Panel: Drew Brees, Laurence Maroney, and the Saints Defense. This combination seemed relatively hopeless, in that a good day by Brees (obviously necessary to my comeback hopes) would probably lead to more passing and less running from the Pats and Maroney, and even if Maroney had success, it would cost the Saints D.
On Monday Night: The absolutely perfect storm of fantasy scoring. Breesus Christ came through with his biggest game since Week 1; Maroney was the only thing working for the Patriots; and the Saints gave up some scoring but got those points back with turnovers and sacks. Somewhere around the end of the third quarter/start of the fourth, we blew by Sherwood.
Final Score: Death Panel 111.84, Woody's Warriors 101.6
Uberleague: Drunk Drivers: Live-Saving Nerds (me) vs. I am Dr. Galazkiewic (Larson)
After Sunday: This one was over, done, finito. I was only down by one point, but each of us had a player yet to go. Mine: kicker John Carney, averaging about 7.5 points per game. His: quarterback Tom Brady, guaranteed Hall of Famer, one of the best QBs of all time, averaging 18 points per game. Unwinnable.
On Monday Night: Though the Pats offense tried to keep pace with the Saints, the touchdowns came from the run game (see: Laurence Maroney in the NBD game) and Brady was throwing picks and taking sacks. Meanwhile, John Carney chugged hideously through the game, bouncing PATs off the uprights and missing field goals, but scoring points nonetheless. When Carney missed a 37-yarder with 5:26 left I was worried, but the Pats started the next drive with Brett Hoyer under center, and a victory was iced.
Final Score: DDs: Life-Saving Nerds 81, I am Dr. Galazkiewic 79
Three huge comebacks. Three wins. And maybe, just maybe, all three teams sneaking into the playoffs. This is not even to mention the fact that the Saints' win brought me my biggest Deadlock success to date, having nailed three of four picks this week. Truly, this was a Monday Night never to forget.
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