BIFL - Week 10 Review B

It's 6am on Sunday. My "roommates" got home around two and a half hours ago, and since my bedroom doubles as the living room and dining room of this apartment, I was awoken. I haven't been able to get back to sleep, so I figured I'd go ahead and knock out the Week 10 recaps.

You know what this blog hasn't had enough of this season?

Tits! Nice work, Vanity Fair.

These write-ups will surely pale in comparison, but anyway:

Lower Loudoun Tribe (125) defeats Pet Monkey (73)

While it was a great week for high scores in BIFL, it wasn't exactly a great week for competitive games. This match-up of former Colonials exemplified that trend. While Billy did get one big day from Maurice Jones-Drew (26), pretty much every other player on his team ate a dick, and left him flailing in the face of a Loudounian onslaught. Bardey had enough big days that he could afford to leave Tom Brady's 34 on the bench without batting an eye. That's because the man who started in his place, Kyle Orton, had his own scoring bonanza, falling just five points short of Tom Terrific. Dwayne Bowe (34) matched Brady's score, and posted a flashy enough day that Souts was immediately lured by his charms and traded away Ahmad Bradshaw to get him. That trade will certainly leave the Tribe's receiving stable depleted, for sure, but with Andre Johnson (22) around at WR1, Bardey can afford to be a little iffy at WR3.

Your Stepdad (110) defeats I'm Fucking In (99)

Like Bardey, both Spencer and Dekker left some gigantic numbers on their benches. And like Bardey, Dekker's bench monster (Ben Roethlisberger, 28) didn't hurt him much because his replacement (Matt Schaub, 25) fared nearly as well. Unfortunately, Spencer can't say the same, having left Fred Jackson (30) on his bench while his starting running backs (LeSean McCoy, 15 and Arian Foster, 11) couldn't reach that total combined. Of course, Foster and McCoy have both been great this season, so the Frogg had no reason to put Freddie in there, and ultimately the team still had a pretty good day. In fact, they nearly matched Your Stepdad at every offensive position. This game may have ultimately been decided by the IDPs: Dekker's Jerod Mayo, Jake Long, and Yeremiah Bell? 16 points. Spencer's DJ Williams, Haloti Ngata, and Bernard Pollard? 5 points. That, ladies and gentlemen, is your margin of victory.

Special shout-out to IFI's David Akers, who scored 12.5 points. Anytime you see a kicker with half a point, it means they made a tackle. That kicker's a MAN.

Ass-Ramming HotCocks (92) defeat Iron Chef of Pounding Poon (76)

Dick and I kind of missed the boat on the scoring binge, but luckily for me he missed it by a wider margin. There really isn't much interesting to say about this game, except to make a note about my team: Mario Manningham (15) had a strong week, and is likely to have more as long as Steve Smith is out. And LeGarrette Blount (16) on my bench well out-scored Michael Turner (3). If those trends continue, it's conceivable that I could field a playoff run starting line-up that includes only one of my top nine draft picks (Chris Johnson, 19 this week). The other picks: 1-Turner, losing his job to Blount; 2-Larry Fitzgerald, struggling through horrible QB play; 3-Wes Welker, kind of useless since the Moss departure; 4-Johnson; 5-Bernard Berrian. Does anyone remember me drafting Bernard Berrian? I can't remember him ever being on my team; 6-Jermichael Finley, out for the season; 7-Kevin Kolb, dropped long ago when Vick first took over; 8-Montario Hardesty, done for the year; 9-Chester Taylor, never a contributor. This HotCock team has been propelled by the long-time keeper combo of Johnson and Turner, it's true, but otherwise this is largely a waiver wire-concocted team. Perhaps with my time off for Thanksgiving next week I'll do some analysis of each team's success with draft picks vs. waiver wire pick-ups. Look forward to that.