NBD - Week 3 Review

After months of acrimonious negotiations, two intractable parties finally came together this week to resolve their differences and come to an agreement for the good of the game. I am speaking, of course, of the agreement reached by the NFL and Time Warner Cable, which finally added the NFL Network and the Red Zone Channel to their line-up this week, thus allowing me to watch NFL coverage 24 hours a day. Today was Yom Kippur, and I had the day off. I watched a replay of the Lions-Titans game and an hour of Terrell Suggs being mic'd up for every game of the 2011 season. I don't even like Terrell Suggs. I also spent a good amount of time writing NBD's Week 3 Reviews. So there's a good chance I'll burn out on NFL football within the next 10 days. But until I do, here are the fruits of my obsession:


.... (127) over Replacement Players (80)
[Papkin over Derek]
I can't tell you how uncomfortable it makes me to know that we're only three weeks into the season and I already owe Papkin 40 bucks for being the High Scorer twice. I guess we shouldn't be surprised; the Pips have the best running back in the league (Arian Foster, 17), an explosive wide receiver (AJ Green, 25), and a quietly dependable quarterback (Eli Manning, 16). What we probably couldn't have expected was that with so many other offensive mouths to feed, Tony Gonzalez (15) could still produce so prolifically, leading him to rank second among TEs. Or that the Bears defense (23) would look more interested in scoring in Week 3 than any of Derek's offensive players. Whatever the source of the Pips' success, barring a breakout day from one of Derek's boys, the Replacement Players didn't stand much of a chance in this one. Tom Brady (18) looked better this week than last, but 335 yards and a touchdown, in this league, makes you an average quarterback at best. Other than Brady, Adrian Peterson (11) was the only Replacement to make it into double-figures. Though Derek had wished that Brady's savvy and experience could wrangle notorious head-cases Brandon Marshall (7) and Kenny Britt (6), as well as notorious headache sufferer Percy Harvin (10), that may be too tall of an order even for Tom Terrific. In honor of ....'s second straight High Scorer award, this week's Classic Jam is ...And Justice for All, by Metallica. Not really a Metallica guy, but there certainly are some tasty licks in this one.

Brain Crapital 47 (120) over Zombie Lassard (99) 
[Haller over Sovic]
Seeing his poll numbers slipping and his approval ratings dipping, Matt Haller made the decision to re-brand his campaign heading into Week 3, re-christening the failed experiment that was Eastwood's Chair as Brain Crapital 47. And the change seems to have re- invigorated his staff, or at least one of them: Jamaal Charles (35) is really fired up about the new approach, and showed it by loading the team on his back. Lassard's Patriots defense (1) saw a lot of that back, as they watched it recede down the field and into the end zone several times. Still, Charles' brilliance and Mike Wallace's generous contributions (18) masked some clear holes in the Crapital platform. Once seen as an undeniable strength, Haller's emphasis on Aaron Rodgers (11) now has been thrown into question, and while CJ Spiller's (12) numbers spiked earlier in the season, he now faces the twin threats of an injury and a recovered incumbent (Fred Jackson). The Zombies, meanwhile, suffered their first loss of the season, despite the best efforts so far from receiver Wes Welker and Eric Decker (14 each). Welker and Decker's success may have come as a result from the increased defensive attention demanded by the Zombies' new tight end, Martellus Bennett (13). But the passing game alone can not carry a team, and the Zombies are looking mighty thin in the backfield these days, with stud LeSean McCoy (8) disappointing, workhorse Willis McGahee (4) ailing, and the rest of the stable combining for 19 total yards on Sunday.

Finga Sniffs (119) over Doo doo (54)
[Manning over Screen]
Speaking of backfield woes, Doo doo certainly has its fair share. A combination of Matt Forte and Ryan Mathews (5.6) sounded strong entering the season, but an early injury felled Forte, and Mathews debut here in Week 3 was quite underwhelming. Though Screen's initial team name harkened back to the Jack Kent Cooke era, his profligate spending with limited results is more reminiscent of the current Skins ownership. In fact, Screen spent 67 auction dollars (a third of his budget) on Mathews, Philip Rivers, and Fred Davis, a trio which has thus far contributed less than six total points to his team. That is hardly the model of efficiency. Conversely, the Finga Sniffs gambled that they could find value at the quarterback position without shelling out big bucks, and they have. Thus far, the two dollars spent on Joe Flacco and Alex Smith has led to 64 combined points. This week, Flacco (27) made great use of his talented wideouts Calvin Johnson (22) and Julio Jones (13). Darren McFadden (18) showed flashes of his potential, but it was the upstart former practice squadder, Andre Brown (25) who paced the Sniffs.

Joe's Team (89) over Higgs-Boson (66)
[Colly over Ray]
As the league's resident senior, Ray has always valued experience over youth, and Particle fans have learned to live with that preference. But clamors for a youth movement are reaching a fever pitch among Higgs-Boson supporters, as many believe that replacing Mike Vick (7) and Reggie Wayne (9) in the line-up with Andrew Luck (25) and Torrey Smith (25) is long overdue. With a few more losses to teams like Joe's - no juggernaut themselves - the fans may get their wish. The Particles had little more than their kicking game (Stephen Gostkowski, 12) to lean on this week, while the Collies returned to the ground game that served them so well in Game 1. With Ray Rice (21) and Alfred Morris (14) toting the rock to continued success, the pressure was off the passing game, allowing Matt Stafford (18) and Larry Fitzgerald the time and space they needed to build a solid connection. Stafford came up lame late in the contest, but he has played through pain before. If he can't, backup Carson Palmer feels confident that he can step up and take the reins of this team. That job will be a lot easier if Rice and Morris continue to roll.

Woody's Warriors (86) over Burke City Giants (85) 
[Sherwood over M Toobin]
As Commissioner Fauxdell continues to stand tough in his face-off with the Referees' Association, his greatest fear must be that a marquee match-up is marred by poor officiating. That almost came to pass on Monday night, as the face-off between the Warriors and Giants came down to the final seconds. Having already connected repeatedly to Brandon Lloyd (11), Burke City's Matt Ryan (22) was once again driving down the field in hopes of closing up the game. Despite a heroic night from Matt Schaub (27), who had earlier lost a chunk of his ear, the Warriors needed the Packers defense (2) to stand up one last time and protect a slim lead. And protect it they did, intercepting a pass in the end zone in the dying moments of the game. But wait! The replacement refs called the interception a catch for Dennis Pitta (11) and touchdown for the offense! The game was over, and the Giants had won! The refs went to the booth to review the play, which they found no reason to overturn. Upon rewinding a little further, however, they realized that several plays earlier, Cedric Benson (12) had scored a touchdown, and they had totally forgotten to add it to the Warriors score. Turns out that despite the late controversial touchdown, the Warriors were actually up by two, and the league was spared days of controversy and the media and fans screaming their heads off about how horrible the replacement refs are. Phew.

Wild Stallions (85) over Stocks in Clarks Wallabees (74) 
[DeYoung over Elliott]
In a match-up of last year's rookie quarterback sensation against this year's, the Wallabees Robert Griffin III (25) did more to wow the crowd, executing double- and triple-options and scrambling all over the field. Between his feet and his arm, he racked up a lot of yards, but couldn't complete a single touchdown pass to his receivers (Dez Bryant, 6 & Malcom Floyd, 5) and tight end (Jason Witten, 1). On the other side of the field, Cam Newton (13) was far less spectacular, but he had something Griffin lacked: support. The lion's share of that support came from Maurice Jones-Drew (25), who is clearly back to full speed despite sitting out the entire pre-season. With MJD helping the Stallions to dominate possession of the ball, all they needed to contain the one-trick-pony Wallabees was a solid Seahawk defense (12) and mistake-free kicking game from Robbie Gould (12). Both delivered.

That does it for Week 3. Next week marks the end of the first trimester of the fantasy season, so maybe I'll do some power rankings or something. Til then...