NBD - Week 2 Review

In the course of preparing this week's game reviews, I had occasion to look back through our league's history pages (you'll see more below). One of the most enjoyable parts of doing this "research" was seeing some of the bygone franchise names that I had long forgotten.  Inspired by that trip down memory lane, I've prepared a little quiz. Can you name the owners of the following NBD teams?

1) McGahee = the Christ (2004)
2) We Want Prenump (2005)
3) Fall Out Boys (2005)
4) Dock War (2006)
5) Fredo (2007)
6) Pat Magroin (2007)
7) Tri Steeg Area (2008)
8) Pubers and the 'Fro (2008)
9) Goin' Rogue Y'all! (2009)
10) The Death Panel (2009)
11) Sir Lucius Left Fut (2010)
12) This Team Here is Dead (2010)

Answers will appear in the Comments. Read on for more recent history: Week 2.


....(110) over Joe's Team (90)
In a battle of the least-creatively named teams in the league, Papkin and Colly proved that one need not have a clever nom du fantasie to put points on the board. Joe's Team was involved in the High Scorer's game for the second straight week, but this time on the losing end. The Ellipses came out firing on all cylinders in Week 2, showing strength both on the ground and through the air. Arian Foster (21) contributed in both, and in addition to him Eli Manning (29) spread the ball out well, getting Tony Gonzalez (13), AJ Green (12), and DeSean Jackson (11) all involved in the offense, leaving Joe's Ravens defense (10) guessing as to who to cover. The Collys attempted to keep pace by airing it out as well, including some circus catches by Vincent Jackson (19) and Demaryius Thomas (14). Their openness, however, came at the expense of Larry Fitzgerald (0), whose every reception attempt seemed to get intercepted, leading to low final figures for Matthew Stafford (13). Ray Rice (15) made some nice contributions from the backfield, but his efforts were negated by the excellence of fellow elite RB Foster. In honor of .... the High Scorer Classic Jam of the Week is Midnight Train to Georgia by Gladys Knight and the Pips. (Pips like the dots on dominoes or dice. Like in Papkin's team name.)

Zombie Lassard (106) over Stocks in Clarks Wallabees (96)
Well, well, well! Forgive me for gloating, but I can't remember a year in which the Lassardians found themselves in the top spot this late in the season! (Yes, I'm aware that 2 weeks in is not late in the season. It's been a pretty futile run here in NBD.) To be honest, I was pretty surprised to win this one at all, much less by ten points. The Zombies trailed by 15 going into Monday night, with only Willis McGahee to play, and Willis had managed that many points only once all of last season. Fortunately, the presence of Drew Brees (21) seemed to lure the Wallabees defense into sleeping on the running game, allowing McGahee and backfield mate LeSean McCoy (13) to rack up the yards and touchdowns. The Wallabees featured a pretty amazing running game themselves, especially the shocking Reggie Bush (32), who appears to have hooked himself up to Simmons' proverbial Juvenation Machine. Bush's effort went largely to waste, however, due to an anemic passing game from the Cowgirls trio of Tony Romo (13), Dez Bryant (2), and Jason Witten (6). That's what you get for investing in Dallas, E.

Wild Stallions (103) over Finga Sniffs (76) 
Many years ago it came to light that when DeYoung takes a deuce, he does not look at the TP to confirm whether he is or is not done wiping. He claims to just know. This week, it seems possible that he didn't wash his hands, either, as the Sniff that Kex took of his Fingas seemingly knocked him out cold. (That was a pretty tortured metaphor, but it allowed me to get that story out about Deezer, and thus was worth it.) As promised in last week's Comments section, Cam Newton (25) made a triumphant return after last week's lackluster showing. His primary target on Sunday was Hakeem Nicks (26), who apparently caught for so many yards and touchdowns in Week 2 that he is simply too exhausted to play in Week 3. With that in mind, the Stallions will need a bigger effort from Maurice Jones-Drew (13) than they got here. Another strong outing from their Seahawks defense (17) certainly wouldn't hurt. If the Sniffs are to have any success in Week 3, they'll need a plethora of players to step up. Darren McFadden, Ryan Williams, Julio Jones, Dan Bailey, and the Giants defense all scored five points or fewer, leaving the outstanding efforts of Victor Cruz (24) and Rob Gronkowski (14) stranded and looking for help.

Woody's Warriors (103) over Eastwood's Chair (98)
Every once in a while, I like to take a stroll back through time and peruse the annals of NBD history, especially when it comes to emotionally significant match-ups like this one between fellow Wolfpack alums (do you guys refer to yourselves as Wolves? Wolfpackers? Wolfpackets?) Matt Haller and Eric Sherwood. My suspicion, considering Haller's high level of success over the years and Woody's high level of suckitude, would be that Week 2's Warriors victory was a rare occurence. I had no idea how rare, though. As it turns out, since I joined the league in 2004, Haller and Woodrow have played 11 times in the regular season, and prior to this week's game, the Warriors had won only one of those match-ups, back in 2008. Even in that season, the Wolfpackets (yup, going with that one) played each other twice and Haller won the other game. With that kind of historical inferiority, the Warriors needed some new blood to reverse the tide of this rivalry, and that new blood arrived this week in the form of rookie running back Trent Richardson (27). Richardson bowled over Eastwood's hapless Giants defense (3), while Woody's own Packers defense (19) had a field day against Aaron Rodgers (11 - I realize this sentence requires some suspension of disbelief). The Chair featured an RB killer of their own in CJ Spiller (29), but his efforts weren't enough to overcome the Warriors. Will this victory signal a change in the tide for the Wolfpacket Derby? We'll get further evidence when they meet again in Week 13.

Higgs-Boson (98) over 72's Ducats (78)
While the Warriors' rookie brought them victory, the Ducats pair of rookie receivers may have cost them theirs. It's well known that Peyton Manning (11) values precise route-running and adaptability, two qualities that he found in Dwayne Bowe (22) this week, and found lacking in Alshon Jeffery (1) and Justin Blackmon (0). That over-reliance on one receiver allowed Higgs-Boson to stack the line with safeties, limiting Curtis Brinkley (7), who came in as relief for the injured Matt Forte (8). The Particles' backfield was not terribly over-powering either, gaining 30 combined points out of DeMarco Murray, Doug Martin, and Stevan Ridley. But Michael Vick (24) seemed to regain his legs and arm, and all the Particles moved the ball enough for their kicker Stephen Gostkowski (14) to do some serious damage.

Gaus's Garage (84) over Burke City Giants (73)
Well, things are just going from bad to worse for Michael Toobin and the Burke City Giants. A week after losing Fred Jackson to injury, this week saw Ahmad Bradshaw (2) and Aaron Hernandez (0) go down. As the Giants keep falling, Burke City will be relying heavily on Matt Ryan (19) and Roddy White (16), who were solid this week but will need to be extraordinary to overcome the adversity this franchise now faces. Of course, one man's ceiling is another man's floor, and Burke City's struggles made for an easy victory for an uninspiring Garage squad. Tom Brady (16) has looked awfully human so far this season, failing to develop a rapport with off-season acquisition Brandon Marshall (2), and not yet recapturing the magic of 2009 with Randy Moss (1). Adrian Peterson (8) demonstrated in Week 1 that he could overcome his ACL injury, but in Week 2 he was reminded that he has an even greater obstacle to overcome: playing in Minnesota.

Don't forget to get any Giants or Panthers in/out of your line-up before Thursday night's game. See you next week, suckers.