NBD - Week 4 Preview

Open scheduling begins this week, with the largest slate of teams sitting of any week of the season (Detroit, Indy, Miami, New England, New York Giants, and Seattle). That means trades, random waiver-wire pick-ups, and odd starters. But will it begin to separate the wheat from the chaff in our almost entirely 2-1 league? A lot can change in a few weeks in fantasy, and our league standings are likely to be largely determined by who manages these bye weeks the best. Here's how I see it panning out in Week 4:

Michael Pemulis (0-3) vs. Hamster Now Guinea Pig (2-1)
I really don't think I'm gonna go winless this season. Or at least I really don't want to go winless this season. But I'm looking at these two teams, and Haller's looks much, much better than mine. But Haller is starting Hank Baskett against me this week, which should entertain those of you who mocked me mercilessly for starting him earlier this season. It should get even funnier when he scores like 20 points on my head.
Guinea Pig by 12

Chapel Hill Croakies (2-1) vs. The Leadfarmers (3-0)
I played the first game of the season of NYC Co-ed Soccer's Lower East Side division last night, and let me tell you, I could have used some Chapel Hill (or any other kind of) croakies. It was rainy and humid, allowing for maximum glasses slippage, and those of you who witnessed/participated in the old Burke soccer team under the tutelage of Kaiser Wilhelm would have happily recognized the sight of me grasping around on the ground for my fallen specs while still sticking a random hoof out to try and play defense. I played goalie for the second half and literally couldn't see any time the ball went on the side of the field where the lights were. That did not keep me from gaining a clean sheet, however, as well as a 3-1 victory thanks in part to a Trost goal.
But I digress: fantasy-wise, how the fuck do these two teams have one loss between them? The Croakies' Adrian Peterson is good, when he's healthy, and the Leadfarmers' Marion Barber is a stud, but otherwise I'm not seeing a lot of talent on these teams. And though it's a bye week, Elliott doesn't really have anybody significant out this week, while Derek is missing only the Eli-Plax connection and Randy Moss, who's been shit this year. Anyways, I don't see much out of either side this week, but over the past year-plus, our league has tended more towards parity than anything else, so...
Croakies by 3

Chestpubes & Ballfro (2-1) vs. Tri Steeg Area (1-2)
This should be a good match-up, as both these teams are pretty strong (despite Tri Steeg's record) and neither is greatly affected by the bye week (Kex is missing Peyton Manning, but JT O'Sullivan should be an able replacement playing the porous Saints' D). At the moment, Colly still has a questionable Darren McFadden and Darren Sproles in his line-up over LaDainian Tomlinson and Felix Jones. He's got a bunch of wedding festivities this weekend, but I'm going to assume that he finds a few minutes to adjust his roster. Even with those guys active, though, I'm a pretty big believer in Kex's starters this week, as TO is traditionally a 'Skin-killer, Lee Evans is playing the awful Rams, and Sean Payton seems to have finally figured out how to use Reggie Bush in New Orleans. Should be a tight game, but...
Tri Steeg by 2

Wyld Stallyns (2-1) vs. Mephistopheles (0-3)
This is always one of my favorite match-ups of the year, featuring one of my oldest friends facing off against the guy who used to have to give me rides to and from his house for sleepovers. However, I've yet to see any smack talk on the message boards, comment section, or e-mail, so hopefully these two have been in contact to maintain the tradition. I'd also like to see Ray have some success and Jon have some failure, but there are some risky plays at work for Mephistopheles this week. Brandon Lloyd had a big outing last week, but he apparently also has some injury issues and also has some issues with being an enormous pussy. Rashard Mendenhall is starting, which is nice, but it's his first start ever and it's against a strong Ravens defense playing on Monday night, which is about the only time aging fucks like Ray Lewis come to play anymore.
Stallyns by 8

Sovic is 2 Girls 1 Cup (2-1) vs. Woody's Warriors (0-3)
Here are some people I don't believe in this week: Willis McGahee against a stout Pittsburgh run defense and losing goal-line touches to Leron McClain; Torry Holt, whose team sucks and is playing the red-hot Bills; and LJ Smith, who it looks like isn't playing at all. Here's some folks I do believe in: Carson Palmer getting his balls back against the Browns; Maurice Jones-Drew running all day against a lousy Texans team; Correll Buckhalter filling in respectably for Brian Westbrook. The former are all on Papkin's squad, while the latter all play for Woody. And after picking my dad and I to lose, I've got to give love to at least one of my winless brethren.
Woody by 6

Burke City Giants (2-1) vs. Matt Ryan Loves Dogs (2-1)
Michael Toobin is one of the owners most affected by this week's bye, as both his starting receivers (Reggie Wayne and Wes Welker) will be riding the pine. In their stead are Matt Jones and Antonio Bryant, a questionable tandem at best. Michael Turner is playing a legit run defense in Carolina, which doesn't necessarily mean a horrible day but probably means no 30-point outing, leaving Marshawn Lynch to carry this team - which he may very well be able to do running all day on the Rams. Then again, once the Bills have a lead, they might start handing it off to Fred Jackson. Koehler, on the other hand, has pretty much his full complement of starters, including Frank Gore, who'll need to do a lot (running and catching) to catch up with the New Orleans freight train offense.
Matt Ryan by 10

Last week: 4-2
Overall: 10-8

Here's a hot chick:

And here's some weird nature shit:

Enjoy Week 4. Beat them Cowboys!