NBD - Week 1 Review

There are many reasons to love the first week of the football season, not all of them football-related. There is the cooling of the weather as summer transitions into fall, my favorite season temperature-wise ("finally, sweater weather!"). There is the settling in that happens after the summertime flurry of travel and activity (I was away for all but three weekends in July and August). For me, and for the students amongst us, there is the start of a new school year and all the hopes and possibilities that entails ("Maybe this year I won't have to bribe a student not to tell his parents that I bitch-slapped him with a textbook!"). And then of course there is football, and all its attendant rites and rituals. Though the most sacred of these to me is spending a Sunday lost in the darkness of a sports bar, monitoring six games at once, eating delicious and all-but-poisonous bar food, and drinking my way into forgetting how bad the Redskins are for yet another season, a close second is the monday night game. Sweet, sweet, Monday Night Football, which turns what would be an otherwise be an utterly worthless night of the week (I'm exhausted, I'm cranky, and there's still four more days of work before the weekend) into a last gasp of weekend sports fanaticism, and a last chance to close out that week's fantasy game. Those MNF commercials are as effective an advertising campaign as I've seen, and not necessarily because they're clever (though they occasionally are), but because they're so damn right. Almost nothing in my life (and keep in mind here that I haven't touched a boob since like 2003) brings me more pleasure than a Monday Night game where my fantasy score hangs in the balance. This season started with not one but two of these games in the NBD League, with two match-ups not being settled until Monday Night, and by less than 1 point each.


CH Croakies 86.28, I Drink Your Milkshake! 85.40
After Sunday, Elliott was down by 17 points with Adrian Peterson and the Green Bay Defense still to play against my Ryan Grant. Considering that Peterson and GB D/ST were playing against each other, it would have seemed difficult for the two to combine for too many points. AP would have to rack up the yardage without scoring too much, and/or the Packers would need special teams points and defensive points from picks and fumble recoveries. Well, damn it all if that isn't exactly what they did. I will let the transcript of our text messages tell the tale:
(pre-game)
Elliott: I'm f'ed. i just realized that i have the green bay def playing.
Sovic: Not like they're gonna give you negative points, but yeah if ap has a big night, you'll be getting less from your d. And eighteen points is a lot of ground to cover with grant playing too.
(third quarter Will Blackmon punt return puts Elliott up slightly)
Elliott: YES!
Sovic: Fucking fuck
Elliott: Haha. fantasy is a cruel sport. sitll plenty of time left.
(fourth quarter Ryan Grant 57 yd run gives Sovic a 4-point cushion)
Sovic: Huge!
Elliott: That might be it.
(fourth quarter Adrian Peterson TD brings Elliott within a point)
Sovic: Jesus i can't take this.
Elliott: Haha. thank god we dont have players in the second game.
(fourth quarter 2 min warning)
Elliott: This could be the most exciting 2 min in nbd history.
(fourth quarter Atari Bigby interception puts Elliott up by .88)
Elliott: Is that game?
Sovic: Unbelievable.
Elliott: That was awesome!


Chestpubes & Ballfro 78.60, Mephistopheles 78.22
If Monday night was cruel to me, it was downright brutal to our league's other Tarasovic. The match-up between Joe and Ray had several players going on Monday night, and after the first game the Devil's team had a 13-point cushion. With Darren McFadden and Tony Scheffler going for the Chestpubers, that lead looked iffy, but when McFadden left with a shoulder injury, Ray must have been feeling safe and sound with his first victory of the season. And then, in one play, the bottom dropped out as Jay Cutler found Scheffler completely uncovered for a 72-yard reception (his only of the night) putting C&B up by a fraction of a point, the fraction that would decide the game.


The Leadfarmers 98.64, Woody's Warriors 82.16
Two of last season's strongest teams were Derek Haller's and Eric Sherwood's, and both looked to be strong again this season heading into a Week 1 collision. Their marquee players certainly showed up, essentially cancelling each other out with 22 points from Derek's Marion Barber and 21 points from Woody's Brian Westbrook. The supporting casts were equally strong, with solid outings from Randy Moss, Plaxico Burress, and Edgerrin James for the Leadfarmers and Calvin Johnson, Jerricho Cotchery and Antonio Gates for the Warriors. The difference in this game came from a surprising place: the quarterback advantage, where Woody must have felt he had the advantage with Carson Palmer taking on Eli Manning. But much to his chagrin, Eli posted a perfectly respectable 14 points while Palmer fell flat with a measly 4.


Zorn Country 53.16, Matt Ryan Loves Dogs 84.84
Frank Gore was one of fantasy's biggest underachievers last season, but amidst speculation of a full recovery from his injury woes and a revamped role in San Fran's Mike Martz offense, Koehler chose to keep him this season. That decision was richly rewarded in Week 1, as Gore put together 96 rushing yards, 56 receiving yards, and a touchdown. Coupled with Thomas Jones, who also had a strong start to the season after a disappointing 2007, Koehler's running backs posted 37 points this week. That alone was almost enough to beat Haller's boys, who were simply awful this week. The lone bright spots were Brett Favre (though his 14 points were hardly spectacular) and the Chicago Defense, which was actually the high scorer for Zorn Country. Other than those two, only Clinton Portis scored more than 5 points for Haller. Not a recipe for fantasy success.


Wyld Stallyns 67.52, Burke City Giants 100.06
We've seen this situation before: a long-time back-up who has shown flashes of brilliance in limited time moves to a starting position with a new team, and the expectations amongst fantasy fanboys are huge, and usually unmet. Think of Lamont Jordan going from the Jets to the Raiders, or Matt Schaub moving from Atlanta to Houston, or Thomas Jones' transition from Chicago to New York. None of these has done as much in so little time to prove their worth as Michael Turner, who dropped 220 rushing yards and two touchdowns on the Stallyns' heads this week, pretty much single-handedly constituting the (large) score differential in this game. DeYoung's squad, meanwhile, continues to get hit with the injury bug, as Marques Colston has been put on the shelf for 4-6 weeks. This is the third season in a row DeYoung has been hit with a major injury (Deuce McAllister, Steven Jackson, and now Colston); it's almost as though Deezer has come to embody his beloved N'Awlins--continually battered by natural disasters, but too hardheaded to just get out of the game.


Ooslay Oopypay 107.14, Tri Steeg Area 95.28
I seem to recall that Kex lost a lot of games last year in unlucky fashion, scoring a lot of points, but always against a team that scored just a few more. That could be true, or I could totally be making it up, but if it is true then he picked up this year right where he left off. This week's opponent was Papkin, and his Loose Poopers put up this week's high score. This came largely on the shoulders of Willie Parker, who must have taken offense at my criticism of last year's touchdown total since he has already surpassed it. Close behind was Donovan McNabb, who looked frighteningly good (if you're a Skins fan) scoring 27 points and throwing to a variety of unheralded receivers. Despite his huge point total this week, though, Papkin can't count on those kinds of performances from McNabb and Parker every week, and he's got to be worried about Willis McGahee's goose-egg, and Torry Holt's 9 receiving yards. Manning, on the other hand, can't be too disheartened by this loss considering the strong outings by Reggie Bush, TO, and Earnest Graham.

...And so another another fine season of Native Burke Dwellers kicks off. I foresee another year of parity and excitement, as well as hopefully some increased opportunities to shit all over Papkin's team. If you've read this far, you probably deserve a reward. Here you go:



Week 2 Previews coming soon.