NBD - Week 3 Review

Michael Pemulis 56.92, The Leadfarmers 89.66
In retrospect, re-naming my team after a character in a novel by an author who recently hung himself might not have been the best idea, as suicide is rarely a strong inspirational source for your average NFL player. Then again, even a long-winded, overly verbose, end-noted David Foster Wallace composition could not make any sense out of this random collection of sorry players that I call a team. A month ago I described Matt Forte as the big risk-reach of my draft, but his 22 points this week (and 14+ points per week average) were the only thing keeping this team even remotely respectable. It doesn't take much to beat these losers, but The Leadfarmers had a perfectly decent week, led by Marion Barber (20), LenDale White (17) and Eli Manning (16). Josh Scobee provided some last-minute heroics in the Indy-Jacksonville game, and had the Pemulis-Leadfarmer match-up been even remotely close, he probably would have provided the difference in this one with his 12 mighty kicker points.

Hamster Now Guinea Pig 103.76, Mephistopheles 95.54
Poor Mephistopheles. Down 0-2, at the bottom of the league in scoring, and with only a brief bit of early success last year on his fantasy resume, Ray came into this week ready to play. He got another strong start from Drew Brees (21), the first Larry Johnson sighting of 2008 (18), and even 10 points out of Marvin Harrison, which may be the first time Marvin the Martian has seen double figures since Ray traded for him mid-season last year. Unfortunately, that was not enough to overcome Matt Haller's Hamster squad, who succeeded again on the strength of the Denver Cutler-Marhsall connection (40) and a great running back 1-2 punch with Joe Addai (21) and Clinton Portis (15). Speaking of Portis: the Skins: not bad? I think we're still significantly behind every other team in our division, but with our cupcake schedule outside the NFC East (4 awful NFC West teams and at least 2 lousy AFC North teams), I think we have a decent chance at going over .500 for the season. I know this is totally un-Skins-fanly of me, but would it be alright to be happy with a team with a merely decent season?

Burke City Giants 109.74, Tri Steeg Area 68.34
You know, for having the high score, the BC Giants sure did have some clunkers this week. Jake Delhomme (4) was essentially worthless, Reggie Wayne (7) hardly looked like the 1st-round pick he was, and Wes Welker (7) is still getting yardage post-Brady, but not getting touchdowns. Michael Toobin had by far the weaker of the Bushes in this contest (Michael Bush's 6 to Reggie Bush's 25), so how did he post such a spectacular score? It's easy when you've got Michael Turner (28), who has now looked like the best RB in fantasy in 2 out of 3 starts, and Marshawn Lynch (23) who in his second season has driven his team to an unexpected 3-0 start. If this combo can continue to perform, it could erase a lot of sins for the rest of the Burke City roster. And when the rest of the team is on, the Giants will be a title contender. And what of Tri Steeg Area? Well, I already mentioned Reggie Bush's big day, and that's about all there is that's worth mentioning.

CH Croakies 66.14, Chestpubes & Ballfro 55.40
Yuck. When two teams do this poorly, what is there really to be said? Congratulations to the Croakies' Larry Fitzgerald for leading this game in scoring with 17 points, though I'm sure Elliott was happier to see the "L" next to his name than his 109 yards and touchdown. Nate Kaeding also had a big week, kicking his way to 12 points on Monday night. Colly also had some action on Monday night, as he eagerly watched his star running back for the Chargers dance his way to 87 yards and two touchdowns. Unfortunately, that star running back, LaDainian Tomlinson, was on Colly's bench, while the other Chargers RB, Darren Sproles, was in Colly's lineup with considerably inferior results. In fact, Colly left most of his big scorers (LDT, Roddy White - 18, Felix Jones - 14) on the bench this week, and it probably cost him the game. In his match-up message board (which not nearly enough of you are taking advantage of), Colly lamented that "[his] team utterly shat the bed this week," but was it really the team, Coach Colly, or was it your usage of them? Sometimes, fantasy success is about taking a long, hard look in the mirror.

Wyld Stallyns 101.78, Woody's Warriors 70.64
I spoke to DeYoung on the phone this week. This is generally not very easy to do; I usually have to call him at work (703-971-6334, just ask for the FuelPak Y2K Update Team!) to get an answer or call-back. Another benefit of speaking to Jon at work is that he can't spend half an hour talking about UVA's football program because he's got to go help the UPS guy load the truck out back. Unfortunately, our little chat this week occurred after work hours, so I couldn't avoid the life and times of Al Groh, but I did get a little extra info on the 2008 Wyld Stallyns. Although I'd written re-caps for the past few weeks, I hadn't really inspected Deezer's team in full detail; they're actually pretty good. When I remarked that it looked like a pretty solid team, DeYoung let me in on a little secret: his draft strategy this year was to draft good players in the later rounds. Imagine! If you'd told me that before the draft, I would've called you a fool (the later rounds are for shitters!), but it seems to have worked so far for the 2-1 Stallyns. We'll see if this trend catches on amongst fantasy experts in seasons to come. In the meantime, DeYoung spent this week beating down on Woody's Warriors, whose 23 points from Maurice Jones-Drew and 13 from Fred Taylor were cancelled out by an injured Brian Westbrook (1) and a hideous outing by the New England D (-4!). The Stallyns' San Diego D, on the other hand, were third on the team with 17, behind Julius Jones (20) and Aaron Rodgers (19).

Sovic is 2 Girls 1 Cup 71.54, Matt Ryan Loves Dogs 101.78
What if I told you that I was 2 girls 1 cup? That I am actually both girls, and the cup, and the poop? Would that just blow your mind? Would it make the video more or less disgusting to you? These are the questions we are all forced to ponder when I'm tired and I've already written 11 game re-caps this week. Anyway, I set myself up pretty well last week for a win-win situation, when I said that I wanted Papkin to go all the way to the finals unbeaten and then get slammed in the FantasyBowl a la the 2007 Patriots. If Papkin won, I'd be one step closer to my goal; if he lost, well then Papkin lost and we're all happy. Sure enough, the latter occured as Koehler's Matt Ryan squad came up big this week. The canophiles were led by the Philly Defense (24), who utterly destroyed the Steelers' offensive line, much to Koehler's delight and Elliott's chagrin. Frank Gore (22) had another good week, further justifying the decision to keep him despite an underwhelming 2007, and TJ Houshmandzadeh (21) had his first week looking like the Housh of old. Combined with Kurt Warner (15) and Dwayne Bowe (10), that was more than enough to overcome Papkin's paltry performance, whose only real standout was the Tennessee Defense with 19.

Week 4 previews soon to come.