NBD - Week 1 Preview

Bold predictions are less bold when there's already one game in the books, but that won't stop me from being bravely wrong about fantasy outcomes week in and week out. Here are your predictions for the first games of the NBD '08 season.

I Drink Your Milkshake! vs. CH Croakies

12 points is about all you can expect out of a guy who didn't score a touchdown (Brandon Jacobs), but I was hoping for about 3 touchdowns out of that position this week, so Daniel Plainview's boys could be in trouble. Ryan Grant is taking on a stout Minny run defense, whereas Elliott's boys are taking on such notable defensive opponents as San Francisco, New Orleans, and Atlanta. Season-long, I give the advantage to the present administration, but this week belongs to the ex-Commish.

Croakies by 7

Chestpubes & Ballfro vs. Mephistopheles

Once again this year, Mephistopheles has stocked up on older, consistent talent (Marvin Harrison, Larry Johnson, Laveranues Coles) but with little knockout potential. Colly, on the other hand, has several guys with blowup potential (Tony Romo, LaDainian Tomlinson, even - who knows? - Darren McFadden). I expect at least one of these guys will make a statement in week 1, plus Ray's Chris Cooley's already got that hideous 0.7 in ink next to his name.

Chestpubes by 11

The Leadfarmers vs. Woody's Warriors

I saw Tropic Thunder last weekend, and Derek's team name is a lot funnier than I thought. That might influence me enough to pick the Leadfarmers in what I expect to be a close battle. The Manning-Burress combo already had a solid, if not exceptional night, and Randy Moss should be walking all over Kansas City Sunday afternoon. Woody, on the other hand, boasts Brian Westbrook, who'll be touching the ball on roughly 98% of Philly's positions this week with nary a healthy, skilled receiver on the Eagles' roster. I'm also extremely curious to see how it works out starting both Maurice Jones-Drew and Fred Taylor; for some reason I think it'll work out well.

Leadfarmers by 2

Zorn Country vs. Matt Ryan Loves Dogs

If Thursday night and the history of starting rookie quarterbacks are any indication, these teams may be named after two of the biggest losers in the NFL this season. The teams themselves don't look much better to me. With nothing much better-than-average at QB, WR, or TE, Haller will be relying on Joseph Addai and Clinton Portis all season, and one of those guys has already had a pretty underwhelming week 1 performance (Jesus, the Skins need line help). Koehler may be sweating the still-unclear status of Tom Brady's foot, but even if they amputate it I suspect Tom Terrific will have no problem picking apart Kansas City this week. And Thomas Jones (unlike his alma mater, who is just barely beating Richmond as of this writing) should have one of his better games this season against a Miami team that is now Jason Taylor- and Zach Thomas-less, and will have to worry about Brett Favre.

Matt Ryan by 5

Wyld Stallyns vs. Burke City Giants

This looks like an incredibly tight matchup to me, and there are a lot of guys playing on the same teams or against each other on either side, and it makes my head explode when I try to figure out how they cancel each other out. For example, Dallas-Cleveland could be shootout between two effective offenses, which will help Michael's Derek Anderson, but he'll be throwing passes to DeYoung's Braylon Edwards. Then again, Anderson can score points without Edwards, whereas Edwards can't score points without Anderson. Then again again, the Cowboys will probably be throwing the ball too, giving some strength to DeYoung's Jason Witten. Ultimately, I'm giving the edge to the best player in this game (Stephen Jackson) and the fact that the Stallyns got more points out of Santana Moss than I would have expected.

Stallyns by 3

Ooslay Oopypay vs. Tri Steeg Area

Yahoo's predictions have this game settled by less than a point, but when I go through the match-up position-by-position, the Tri Steeg Area side of the board looks better in almost every category (at least in their matchups/situations this week). Somehow, Yahoo has also projected Benjamin Watson to score -.2 points this week, which could only happen to a guy on Papkin's team.

Tri Steeg Area by 9

I'll be keeping track of my record throughout the season. If anyone wants to compete against me, drop your predictions in the Comments section and it'll be on like Donkey Kong.