NBD 2012 - Week 1 Review

The temperature has cooled, school is back in session, and Lassard has risen from the grave with a thirst for brains and human flesh. We're back in the high life again, boys, so let's take a look back at Week 1:

Joe's Team (118) over Burke City Giants (108)
Despite claiming that he had done little to no preparation for our draft and threatening to bow out early after a tough day on the job, Joe Colly has come roaring out of the gate as the first Classic Jam High Scorer of the Week. Like all the true greats, Coach Joe knows that the key to success in football is not following the latest trend, but leading the next one. Having heard television commentators noting for the thousandth time that "it's a passing league these days," Colly bucked the trend by focusing on the run game. Quarterback Matt Stafford was surprisingly subdued (16), ceding his stats instead to a strong rushing game in the persons of Alfred Morris (22) and Ray Rice (21). By pounding the rock and playing stout defense (18 from the Ravens), Joe's team was able to contain the powerful Burke City offense, who squandered an outstanding day by Matt Ryan (32). Ryan's short passes underneath to Aaron Hernandez (12) and Darren Sproles (12) turned into long gains, and with decent support from Ahmad Bradshaw (15), the Giants put together an effort that would have taken down most other NBD teams in Week 1. Injury to Fred Jackson (2), however, will have this team scrambling a bit to maintain that scoring momentum and get them their first win. Also of note: Joe's Team went into this matchup with an unprecedented four Raiders on the team. With that in mind, this week's Classic Jam is You Can't Sit Down by Paul Revere and the Raiders.

Zombie Lassard (108) over Wild Stallions (73)
As noted in this week's Draft Review post, the crack statistical team here at From the Desk will be keeping track all season of each player's production relative to their auction cost. Obviously one week is too small a sample size to draw any conclusions, but differences in Points per Dollar spent draw a pretty clear picture of the difference in this contest, the biggest blowout of the week. Zombie Lassard's roster featured the biggest values in the league at running back (Kevin Smith - 7ppd), tight end (Coby Fleener - 8.2ppd) and defense (Patriots - 16ppd). Meanwhile, the Wild Stallions Cam Newton represented the worst quarterback value among all starters, notching a paltry .36ppd. With such strong production from its unsung heroes, the Zombies are virtually guaranteed victory when one of the big guns goes off as well, and Drew Brees (24) was that big gun in Week 1.

Eastwood's Chair (105) over Gaus's Garage (82)
Although Clint Eastwood's performance at the Republican National Convention may have left many of us with the impression that he is severely imbalanced, it was balance that led Eastwood's Chair to their first victory of the 2012 season. Alternating a plowing Frank Gore (17) running game with quick downfield strikes from Aaron Rodgers (24) to Stevie Johnson (12), the Chair kept Gaus's Lions defense (4) reeling and unsteady. Playing catch-up, Gaus's Garage was forced to abandon the running game. Tom Brady (18) connected repeatedly with Brandon Marshall (18) and, to a lesser extent, Percy Harvin (10) and Randy Moss (11), but the turnovers generated by the Chair's Jets defense (19) ruined any hopes of a comeback. Both teams can likely look forward to better performances to come, with Eastwood's CJ Spiller and Gaus's Adrian Peterson having done plenty this week to earn the confidence of their coaches and a likely start in Week 2.

Stocks in Clarks Wallabees (105) over Woody's Warriors (82) 
The Wallabees led from wire to wire in this one after Tony Romo (25) came out of the gate firing on all cylinders, hooking up with Jeremy Maclin (16) and Malcom Floyd (13) for multiple scores. The Warriors took to the air as well, as Matt Schaub (14) and Andre Johnson (18) showed signs of the connection that brought them such success a few seasons ago. Once the Warriors reached the red zone, however, they were unable to punch it in, with Chris Johnson (5), Trent Richardson (4) and Ced Benson (2) all failing to cross the plane. That brought Woody's squad numerous chip-shot opportunities for Matt Bryant (16), but no closer to victory.

... (103) over 72's Ducats (72)
It was cute the way that Andy Screen's role players collaborated to ensure that their team scored 72 points in honor of team namesake Dexter Manley, but Peyton Manning (20) will probably have plenty to say in the locker room to Dwayne Bowe, Justin Blackmon, Evan Royster, Mark Ingram, Mason Crosby, and the Niners defense, none of whom managed to exceed six points. Little brother Eli (13) did less for Papkin's squad, but he also was not called upon to carry the team in the same way thanks to a solid two-pronged running attack of Arian Foster (20) and Shonn Greene (15). Tony Gonzalez (11) proved that he is still an ageless wonder, and once Eli's other receivers (AJ Green and Antonio Brown) get to face some less fearsome secondaries, "..." might just be impressive enough to earn their team an actual name.

Finga Sniffs (94) over Higgs-Boson (89)
The premier Monday Night Match-Up (or Menomena) of the season was also our most lackluster game of the week, points-wise. Despite the low scoring totals, however, there were flashes of offensive brilliance from the Sniffs passing game. Having secured the services of Julio Jones (23), Manning was probably wise to unleash the cannon arm of Joe Flacco (20), who is the early leader in the value rankings (remember that Flacco cost only a dollar). Darren McFadden (12) and Rob Gronkowski (12) also had decent showings, giving the Sniffs a collection of talent that can do damage in all facets of the offensive game. Ray's Miles Austin (13) and DeMarco Murray (14) looked good in the first quarter, but the team fizzled late in the game as Antonio Gates (4) and Torrey Smith (7) dropped some key passes. Michael Vick (20) made it through the week alive, which is always good news for Particles fans.

Week 2 promises more excitement, and starts a mere 24 hours from now with a Thursday night Bears-Packers match-up. Wait a minute. [Author pauses to see if they're going to be doing these Thursday night games every week.] Yay! [Pauses again to see if they're all going to be on the NFL network, still uncarried by Time Warner Cable.] Nooooo!!!