NBD - Week 6 Review

In case anyone didn't continue checking in on the comments section after making their own last week, I wanted to update everybody on the issues I brought up in last week's post.

For this year:
1) Defensive and Special Teams scoring will remain as is for the rest of the season, meaning that your defenses will only be earning defensive points, and kickoff/punt touchdowns or fumbles will be credited to the individuals that achieve them.

2) The waiver wire is apparently working fine. I will continue to get whatever awful players I want every week.

For next year:
1) The idea of a waiver wire auction system has been roundly rejected and shall never be spoken of again.

2) The most universally-supported system of selecting draft order next year appears to be the lottery system, where the draft order will be drawn out of a hat where the lower-placed teams have more names in the hat (12 names for last place, 11 names for 2nd-to-last, etc). I have literally no statistics education, so if there is a better distribution pattern I should be following and you're aware of it, let us know. If you're ear the bottom and thinking of tanking (good luck getting by me!) keep in mind that teams that tank in the NBA have traditionally been karmically screwed and the team with the best odds in the lottery almost never wins it. I very much like DeYoung's suggestion that the lottery order will allow you to pick your spot in the draft, rather than locking you into a certain position. However I should note that when we did something similar in another league a few years back, pretty much everyone ended up taking the spot they were in anyway.

OK enough rules discussion, let's look at the games:
Stadler & Waldorf 82.54, Lassard Blows Harris 87.90
[sigh]
[enormous, breathy sigh, laden with the weight and sorrow of a man who's spirit, already near its very nadir, was briefly supported by a gentle breeze from below, only to be thrown down once again with brutal and indifferent force by the hand of fate, to be wracked upon the ruins at the very depths of despair]
I really thought I had it this week. First of all, let me say this: Stadler & Waldorf did a lot of things right in Week 6. Mid-week waiver wire pick-up Matt Ryan (16) had the best fantasy week of his young and promising fantasy career. My wide receiver strategy of playing both Texans receivers against the lousy Miami secondary paid off to the tune of 32 points (22 for Andre Johnson, finally looking legit the last 2 weeks, and 10 for Kevin Walter). And Matt Forte (17) continued to be the MVP of this squad - although admittedly that's like being the prettiest pig at the fair - and our main source of hope for the future. Going into Monday night's game, I had Brandon Jacobs and the Giants' Defense going against Kevin Boss, needing to outscore him by 15 points. Considering Jacobs' 14 ppg average, the Giants D's 7.8 ppg average, and Boss' 4.6 ppg average, this hardly seemed like a lot to ask. Jacobs (13) basically held up his end of the bargain, and likely would have had a few more points if the Giants had been able to run it out late, as you would have expected with them taking on the previously lame Browns. But the Giants Defense got completely stomped, ending up with -1 points. To them, and to Le'Ron McLain (-2), I say: fuck you, you motherfucking ass warts.
To Papkin, I say: I give up, dude. You win. As long as I continue to hate on you in these write-ups, as long as I continue to point out the fallacies of logic and incoherence of your e-mails, as long as I continue to argue with you over the slightest details and mundanities of this game, our mutual shared obsession, I seem fated to go nowhere. And so, I throw in the towel. Congratulations on your win. Strong performances by Donovan McNabb (19), Vincent Jackson (19), Ronnie Brown (15), and Joe Nedney (15). Best of luck in the weeks to come.
CH Croakies 77.22, Wyld Stallyns 87.22
I mentioned earlier that Andre Johnson, a top pre-season receiver pick, had been a huge disappointment this season up until last week. Apparently, he must have trained in the off-season with Braylon Edwards, DeYoung's top point-scorer this week (23). Edwards' performance on Monday night netted him considerably more fantasy points than he had picked up in his first four games combined, and he certainly looked like the Braylon of last year, breaking off big plays and several times forcing Aaron Ross to bite so hard on a move that he simply fell over. The only other outstanding showing this week for the Stallyns came from Aaron Rodgers, who is either not really bothered by his shoulder problems or is just so damned determined to prove he is a worthy successor to toughguy Favre that he's willing to play until his arm falls off.
Elliott got some decent weeks out of Jamal Lewis (15), Larry Fitzgerald (14), and Nate Kaeding (12), but when Adrian Peterson, on whom E relies for a significant portion of his scoring, scores less than 7 points, three decent showings by the other guys is rarely going to produce a victory.

Chestpubes & Ballfro 75.34, Hamster Now Guinea Pig 83.88
Can we go ahead and call Clinton Portis the best player in fantasy right now? Even on a Sunday when the Skins suffered a truly horrendous loss (and I really don't want to get into it but I probably won't be able to avoid it writing 2 league reviews and 2 league previews this week), he contributed a monster game with 26 fantasy points, 2nd-most by any player. Not only does he lead all RBs in total scoring this season, but he has done it consistently, without any real clunkers like Reggie Bush and Michael Turner have. His points were desperately needed, too, as two of Haller's other starters, Bobby Engram and Joseph Addai, combined for 0.3 points. The other big step-ups for the Hamster crew this week were Marcedes Lewis (12) and Jay Cutler (14). Ballfro had some big days as well, getting 17 points from Roddy White and 23 from Tony Romo. But that was hardly enough to overcome mediocre-to-poor performances from the rest of the team, and with Romo down for the next month Colly will find himself in search of a new quarterback this week. This is probably why you keep some decent reserves on the bench, rather than extra kickers and defenses.

The Leadfarmers 67.46, Tri Steeg Area 113.04
Wow. This was a blowout.
In my preview of this game, I noted that the Manning brothers (Peyton and Eli, not Kevin) would be squaring off in this game, and that Eli would clearly have the better fantasy day. Well, I was wrong on two counts, as Derek started Brett Favre (7) rather than Eli (10), and Peyton (23) had a far better day than either one, decimating what had been a rather vicious Ravens defense. Peyton's big outing was just the beginning of a big day for the Tri Steeg, with the Tampa Bay Defense (21), Bernard Berrian (19), and Reggie Bush (18) all coming up huge. And even with nearly the top score in the league this week, Kex's crew actually could have been even better, having left Michael Pittman's 13 points on the bench.
The Leadfarmers, on the other hand, are on the shneid with three straight losses and their second straight week below 70 points. Are Brett Favre's early-season heroics over? Has Chris Perry completely outlived his usefulness? Was Randy Moss' big week last week a return to form or a one-week aberration? What will the changes in Dallas mean to Marion Barber's production? These are the questions that must keep Derek awake at night. And if not, at least they give me something to write about.

Burke City Giants 73.68, Mephistopheles 78.80
Last year, the DadBowl was decided by barely more than a point, setting the stage for a spirited rivalry for years to come. This year's contest wasn't quite as close, but it was still a good match-up that evened the series. There were a lot of very middling performances for both of these squads this week, even from previously proven studs like Michael Turner and Steve Slaton for Burke City (5 & 6, respectively) and Laveranues Coles and Cedric Benson (6 & 0, respectively). OK, Cedric Benson is not a "previously proven stud," he actually sucks, but I like to point out that my Dad thought he was going to be solid this week. Anyways, the one big standout performance this week came, once again, from Mephisto's Drew Brees (26), who is arguably competition for Portis as fantasy player of the year so far. Like Portis, Brees has not only been outstanding, he's been consistently outstanding, with only one week below 17(!) points back in week 2 when he played the Redskins. And all this with various injuries to some of his top receivers, Marques Colston, Jeremy Shockey, and David Patten. With some of those guys coming back in the next couple weeks, it'll be interesting to see if Brees can go even bigger. If he does, and if Greg Jennings (14) can continue to play well, Ray's Devils may be as big a post-season factor as the Devil Rays.

Matt Ryan Loves Dogs 103.14, Woody's Warriors 113.54
Having started Matt Ryan this week and owning Michael Turner and Roddy White in other leagues, I am ready to declare solidarity with Koehler as an (admittedly bandwagon) Atlanta Falcons fan this year. I am hoping he can teach me the Dirty Bird the next time I see him. So it makes me sad to see that MRLD put up a pretty excellent performance this week and yet still couldn't pull out a victory. The biggest suprise for Koehler had to be Thomas Jones (26), whose three touchdowns gave him what was likely his biggest fantasy performance ever. Frank Gore (18) was solid in the run game as well, and defense and special teams chipped in with 32 combined points out of the Philadelphia Defense and kicker Jason Elam. But that was not enough to top the even bigger running back day by Woody's Warriors. Maurice Jones-Drew and Correll Buckhalter provided a combined 52 points this week, and together with David Akers (16), Kyle Orton (15), and Calvin Johnson (13) - who was actually questionable heading into the game - they were the top-scoring Week 6 team. I actually predicted that this game would be a high-scoring contest, and foresaw a double-digit margin of victory, but I certainly didn't expect for the victors to be led by names like Buckhalter, Orton, and Akers. Well done, Woody.

So that does it for Week 6. I'd like to note that, for the second straight season, we seem to have achieved a pretty high level of parity here in Native Burke Dwellers. At nearly the half-way point of the season, 8 teams (2/3 of the league) are at 3-3, with only Manning and myself looking significantly better/worse than the rest of the league in terms of scoring (I'll let you figure out who's who). In the next few weeks I'll look back to the pre-season to reflect on my post-draft comments (I'm guessing there's a lot of stupidity to be reviewed there) and update my power rankings.

Oh also, The Pick-Up Artist is back for another season on VH1. I highly recommend it.

And if you were interested in that super-slo-mo show I mentioned last week on DiscoveryHD, it turns out it's on Wednesday nights, not Thursdays. It's called Time Warp, and it looks awesome.