NBD - Week 5 Review

Normally I try to start these blog posts with some sort of timely or humorous or reflective introduction that I then find a way to tie in to fantasy. Last week I did some research into Rosh Hashanah so that I could explore and explain some of the traditions involved. I really put some effort into it, especially in finding a way to tie it in to the power rankings that I came up with. Not a word of response from the league's Jewish contingent. Thanks guys. Anyways, this week I am foregoing all that rigmarole because a) apparently you fuckers couldn't care less and b) I have some actual league business to discuss. So even if you don't read the game reviews, please at least read about our IMPORTANT LEAGUE ISSUES and provide your input in the comments section below. Thanks.
IMPORTANT 2008 LEAGUE ISSUE #1:
Ray Tarasovic has reported some scoring issues the past few weeks that are at odds with our supposed rules. Ray's team features DeSean Jackson, who besides being a receiver who was utterly shut down by the Redskins, is also the Eagles' punt returner. Mephistopheles was penalized for a fumble in Week 4 when Jackson fumbled on a punt return, and was also rewarded in Week 5 when Jackson returned a punt for a touchdown. Now, when I set the scoring and positional settings at the beginning of the season, it was my intention that scores on punt and kick returns would be attributed to the Special Teams, and thus Jackson's points should have gone to the Philadelphia D/ST. As it turns out, though, Yahoo has been giving those points to individual players, and what I thought was D/ST has in fact just been D. None of your Defenses are getting Special Teams points. This wouldn't be such a big deal, but a few people have asked since before the season began, and I've always explained the scoring system as the way I thought it was operating, and not the way it actually has been operating.
So the question becomes what to do about it now. So far, I don't think any outcomes have been drastically affected. Jackson's negative points for the fumble or positive points for the TD wouldn't have changed the outcome of either of those games, nor were Reggie Bush's two punt return TDs enough for Kevin Manning to win this weekend.
The scoring system for the league was locked after the first set of games, so I can't change the settings, but I do have the power to adjust individual game scores, meaning I could go through the games each week and make adjustments where appropriate. This would be a bit of a pain for me, but as it was my mistake to begin with I have no problem doing it. The problem with this is that the stats provided by Yahoo will still reflect the current scoring system, so when you're picking up free agents/making roster decisions, you will have to factor in the difference in punt/kickoff returns yourself.
My inclination would be to go on scoring punt/kickoff returns as we have so far this season, attributing these points to individual players rather than Defenses, since it hasn't really affected any outcomes so far and we should all know the deal from here on out. But if anyone has made decisions based on how I said the scoring would operate, and feels that this has put them at a disadvantage, I certainly want to put that right. Your input in the comments section would be much appreciated. I'm very sorry if anyone has been screwed by this; I assure you it was entirely unintentional.

IMPORTANT 2008 LEAGUE ISSUE #2:
This issue has to do with the waiver wire, which has always been problematic. As it stands now, our waiver wire priority re-sets to the inverse of the standings every week. I have been in last place since the season began, so I've pretty much dominated that priority (yay for me!). Last week, I put in three claims, and got all three. This might not be surprising, since none of my pick-ups were exactly barn-burners (NY Giants Def, Kevin Walter, and Brandon Jackson). The same thing happened with my waiver-wire pick-ups this week, and the fact that I got all three both weeks makes me worried that because of my waiver wire priority, all of my waiver claims are being processed before the #2 waiver priority, and then all of #2's claims are being processed before #3, etc. This is not how it should be operating. However I don't know if this is actually what's happening or if I'm just picking up guys that no one else wants, so I need for you guys to keep an eye out for it. If you put in a waiver claim for someone, and someone gets that player as their second waiver-wire pick-up before you get your first, please let me know and I will try to find a way to fix that. This leads me into

IMPORTANT 2009 LEAGUE ISSUE #1:
In one of my other leagues this year, we have instituted a new waiver wire policy that I thought I'd propose for our league next year. Basically it's an auction system, with each week starting with essentially a silent auction on all the waiver wire players. At the beginning of the season, each owner has $100 free agent dollars, and each week they put bids in on the players they want. On Wednesday, the player is awarded to the owner who has put in the highest bid, and the owner's free agent budget is debited in that amount. It's been pretty fun for us in that other league, and gives you a whole new reason to make fun of someone when they totally overpay for, say, the NY Giants defense, Kevin Walter, or Brandon Jackson. This doesn't need to be decided until next summer, obviously, but I thought I'd put it out there now.
An even bigger decision facing us next year is

IMPORTANT 2009 LEAGUE ISSUE #2:
Draft order. Now that we're switching over to the Option B keeper system, where only players drafted after the 3rd round can be kept, the draft order again becomes extremely important. The top picks in the draft next year will actually be legitimate top draft picks, and not useless fuckers like Ryan Grant. Which brings up the question of how we determine draft order. Traditionally, the draft order is simply the inverse of the final standings. I remember a few years ago there was some concern over tanking, so we reversed the bottom 6 (i.e. #7 in the final standings gets 1st pick, #8 gets 2nd pick, etc.) Honestly I don't think anyone in this league is a big enough bitch to tank, and if they are, then fantasy football means way too much to them and they can have the top pick for all I care (and this is coming from someone for whom fantasy obviously means a lot). But I also think that simple inverse of the standings is kind of boring (even though it could very well benefit me since my team is so shitty this year), so I wanted to provide some options and have a vote, because it's been nearly two months since we all argued over something. Anyways, here's my options:
A) Inverse of final standings (yawn)
B) Random drawing. With our keepers next year likely not being the cornerstones of our teams, you can make a case that the league winner doesn't necessarily have any advantage heading into next year, and thus we should all have an even shot at the top draft pick. So I'll just put everyone's name in a hat and pick out the draft order.
C) NBA Lottery style. We will use inverse of final standings, but not directly. Again I will draw names out of a hat, but the 12th-place team will get 12 names in the hat, 11th-place will get 11 names, all the way down to 1st-place getting one name. Thus it'll be more likely that the last place teams get higher draft picks, but not necessarily a direct correlation. If someone with a statistics background wanted to provide a more appropriate name/hat distribution, I would be open to that.
D) Some kind of cool, crazy shit I've never even thought of or heard about. Maybe a Survivor-style competition to be held over the summer, where we draft in the reverse order of when you got kicked off the island? (Hope you like the 12-spot, Papkin!)

Again, your input/vote on all these issues in the Comments section would be much appreciated.

Now on to the Week 5 games:

Stadler & Waldorf 115.42, Wyld Stallyns 53.06
I had no reason to believe I'd have a big game this week other than the fact that I hadn't had one yet, and sure enough it came to pass. I didn't even need one! But I had one anyway to post the top score in the league this week. One shining moment in the sun. Oh but did the Stallyns eat it. The Eagles seemingly focused every ounce of their defensive energy on stopping Santana Moss, and they did to the tune of 0 fantasy points, apparently not noticing that they were being dominated instead by Clinton Portis and Chris Cooley. Deezer's got a strong QB tandem this year, but he started the wrong half of it this week, disregarding Aaron Rodgers 24 points to Philip Rivers' 10. But even that wouldn't have helped catch Brandon Jacobs (27), Andre Johnson (19), Matt Forte (18), and Hines Ward (15).
[Oh as I'm writing this I just saw an ad for "Time Warp," a show on DiscoveryHD where they show shit blowing up in super slow motion. Consider this a note to myself to DVR that show. It's next thursday at 8.]
[PS. in the off-season I could see this blog developing into a 'Dirty Jobs' review site. I'm pretty sure I can corner that market. Sorry.]

CH Croakies 66.04, Hamster Now Guinea Pig 103.98
The afore-mentioned dominance by Portis didn't leave much room for fantasy scoring by Jason Campbell (8), and after Adrian Peterson (4) got surprisingly shut down by the New Orleans defense, Elliott's receivers Larry Fitzgerald and Isaac Bruce (17 each) were lafted stranded on an island with no support. Matt Haller's Hamster team was my top-ranked contender last week, and they did their best to justify that ranking this weekend. Even on a day when the Cutler-Marshall Project didn't match their previous success (17 points between them), Haller got enough offense out of his RBs (Portis for 22 and Addai for 13) and his defense (Bears, 18) to break the century mark. Of note: the top scorer in this game was Ben Roethlisberger's 24, squandered on Elliott's bench.

Chestpubes & Ballfro 99.64, The Leadfarmers 67.68
The defending champ took umbrage at his Peter Lassardian #10 rating, and came out to prove himself this week. After getting blanked by the Skins in Week 4, I had sort of written off Felix Jones for some reason, but he came roaring back in Week 5 with 16 points, one shy of his backfield mate Tony Romo (17). Roddy White led the Ballfros with 19 and Donald Driver (14) had his biggest outing of the year, all of which was enough to prove that even when LaDainian Tomlinson and Chris Johnson have limited days, C&B is a contender. The Leadfarmers also had a solid day out of their receivers, with Muhsin Muhammed having another strong outing (13) and Randy Moss making his first appearance of the year (17). Moss' breakout must be reassuring for Derek, but the performances from the rest of his team must be depressing, to say the least. Miles Austin and Vernon Davis dropped some goose eggs, and LenDale White was only the slimmest of margins better, rushing for 4 yards. Even Marion Barber (9) was not his usual self. Man, there were a lot of Cowboys in this game.

Lassard Blows Harris 69.04, Mephistopheles 92.60
After a 2-0 start to the season in which he averaged nearly 110 points, Papkin saw fit to start talking shit, requesting that someone "please... put up some effort to beat me." Well, he's certainly gotten his wish, as this made the third consecutive week that he got beaten, this time by Mephistopheles. Ronnie Brown (19) proved this week that Wildcat Provisions was no fluke, and Mewelde Moore (11) was surprisingly decent as a fill-in for Willie Parker and Rashard Mendenhall. But Beyond that LBH didn't do much. Ray's squad is moving in the opposite direction, gaining their second straight win this week after nearly a year of futility. Interestingly enough, the Chief's last two victories came against DeYoung and Papkin, the same two opponents he beat this year. This week's win came on the strength of a huge day by waiver-wire pick-up the Carolina Defense (19), Chris Cooley (17), Greg Jennings (15), and Drew Brees (14).

Burke City Giants 109.54, Woody's Warriors 66.56
Don't look now, but Woody's Warriors are closing in on my coveted #12 spot! Languishing with the same abysmal 1-4 record, the Warriors are less than five points ahead of Stadler & Waldorf in the standings. In fact, the only thing that kept them from reaching the cellar this week was the surprisingly strong performance of Kyle Orton (22). Woody employed an unusual strategy this week, starting both Correll Buckhalter and Brian Westbrook, who's been dinged up. Dings or no, Westbrook put up 14 points, but that left nothing for Buckhalter. By contrast, Michael's team was the model of a balanced onslaught attack. With five Burke City players over the 15-point mark, even a strong performance by Woody would have made a win unlikely. The running back combo of Steve Slaton (21) and Michael Turner (18) led the way, followed closely by the Minny Defense (17), Jake Delhomme (17) and Reggie Wayne (16). With such a balanced, consistent attack, Toobin's team has earned themselves a spot right at the top of the league.

Matt Ryan Loves Dogs 102.60, Tri Steeg Area 93.78
With an average point differential of almost 40 points in the other five games this week, it was nice to have one contest that was not a complete blowout. Matt Ryan and Tri Steeg both played well this weekend, but of course Tri Steeg lost. I say of course because Manning's team has continued a trend this season that began last year in which they put up a solid score every week and still lose the majority of their games. Manning is currently leading the league in scoring, and yet has a losing record at 2-3. Since joining the league last year, he has averaged 86 points in his losses; most weeks, that's enough to beat half the league if you're lucky enough to be playing the right opponent. So far, luck has not been Tri Steeg's strong suit. This week brought them up against an MRLD group that was just a little bit better at each position. Koehler's team was led by TJ Houshmandzadeh (21), Kurt Warner (19), and Tim Hightower (17). It's worth noting that Hightower was one of Koehler's supplemental round selections, and he is hardly the first to have been productive this season: both of Derek Haller's picks from that round, Muhsin Muhammed and Chris Perry, have been solid contributors.

OK now that I'm through the game reviews, I want to draw people's attention back to the issues mentioned above. Please put some thought into your responses and post a comment to let me and the rest of the league know how you'd like to deal with these. Thanks.