Quick note: this year, instead of putting out a full week's worth of game reviews in one post, I'll be spreading them out over a few days. This makes it easier on me in that I can spend a little time each day writing instead of several hours on Tuesday or Wednesday night, and better for you in that you can check Commandant Lassard almost any day and there will be some new content, and if you (gasp) don't check every day, you can just scroll down and see what you missed.
If you haven't read Part A yet, click here.
Two unexpectedly tight, down-to-the-last minute games last night, though I admit that after Thursday night football, all day and night Sunday football, and the nail-biting Bills-Pats game, fatigue had set in for me by the second half of Raiders-Chargers. I suspect many, if not all, of you were already fast asleep by the time the game ended, sometime around 1:45am. If so, you missed not only some exciting NFL action, but some down-to-the-wire NBD action as well. None was closer than...
Wild Stallions (93) defeat Matt Ryan Loves Dogs (92)
Closing with a 14-point performance from the Green Bay defense, Koehler came out of the weekend with an 18-point advantage over DeYoung. With Philip Rivers and Nate Kaeding going in the late game, the Stallions had reason to feel confident, but not certain. That uncertainty must have heightened as the Raiders somewhat dominated the time of possession, giving the Chargers offense little opportunity to overtake the dog-lovers. Finally, though, the supposedly most-talented offense in the league rose to the occasion, driving in the fourth quarter to lead the Chargers, and the Stallions, to victory.
Also of note in this match-up were Koehler's Cedric Benson (17 pts) and DeYoung's Willis McGahee (20 pts), two rushers given up for dead by this blog who showed they're not quite done yet.
The Death Panel (95) defeats Woody's Warriors (88)
Though it also came down to Monday night, this contest wasn't nearly as dramatic as the last. Woody needed about 14 points out of his favorite early-round draftee, Antonio Gates. Unfortunately for him, Gates fell short (8 pts) and the Death Panel earned the victory. Thanks are due in enormous part to Drew Brees, whose 37 points constituted nearly 40% of DP scoring this week. I guess that answers my question about whether it was worth it to use a 2nd-round pick on him. The bad news for me in this one is that most of Woody's losing roster (Donovan McNabb, Calvin Johnson, Torry Holt, Michael Turner) are my players in other leagues. I did not do well this week.
A-Town Starbuckers (98) defeat You Got Got (91)
A (distant) second to Drew Brees in quarterback scoring this week was Tony Romo, whose early draft selection I similarly questioned. Romo proved me wrong to the tune of 26 points this week, enough to lead his Starbucker team to victory over You Got Got. Like his mascot, Big Brother's Jeff, Colly's team was ambushed before he could even get to the final, with A-Town's Santonio Holmes (19 pts) out-scoring Chris Johnson (6 pts) handily in the season opener. That was enough to overcome Derek's 0-fer from the WR2 position, as Anthony Gonzalez crumpled to the ground untouched early in the Colts-Jags game. One shudders to imagine what might happen if he were actually tackled at some point.
Your final two game re-caps will be posted tomorrow.
9.15.2009
9.14.2009
BIFL - Week 1 Review A
Quick note: this year, instead of putting out a full week's worth of game reviews in one post, I'll be spreading them out over a few days. This makes it easier on me in that I can spend a little time each day writing instead of several hours on Tuesday or Wednesday night, and better for you in that you can check Commandant Lassard almost any day and there will be some new content, and if you (gasp) don't check every day, you can just scroll down and see what you missed.
For those of you who haven't heard: I'm unemployed. My teaching certification expired this spring, and even though I fulfilled the requirements to re-new it this summer, New York City put on a hiring freeze for teachers, so my principal was unable to re-hire me. So now I'm out a job. Oh, and I'm homeless. My lease ran out at the end of august, and both my roommates moved back to DC. For the past week I've been crashing with Bost and Delconte (special thanks to them for being excellent - and largely absent - hosts). So my life is largely an empty, lifeless shell of what it was a few months ago. But all summer long, as my situation has become more and more hopeless, there has been one bright spot on the horizon. One lone ray of hope shining through the murk of despair: football season. And yesterday, at long last, it finally arrived. The results: the Skins lost to hated conference rivals, the Giants, and perhaps worse, my fantasy team lost to the awfulness that is Soutendijk. Fuck you, life. Fuck you very much.
Let's see who else has good reason to extend a long middle finger to the Lord above:
FU BAR (100+ 103.5) defeats Bardois Bourgeoisie (75)
Spencer's still got an IDP going tonight, but this one's already in the bag as Spence will only add to his already-sizable lead. Seems like a lot of the traditional, expected fantasy powerhouses came out flat in Week 1, and this contest was no exception. Bardey's top talents, Matt Forte and Andre Johnson, combined for 8.5 points, and Spencer's horse, Calvin Johnson, had a rather pedestrian 9 points. But at least one of 2008's fantasy monsters picked up where he left off last year, and then some. Drew Brees' six touchdowns were enough to give him a 40-point day. Normally relying on one player for 40% of your points would not be a good thing, but I feel confident that the Frogg (and Bardey, who owns Brees in the Uberleague, and I, who own him in NBD) would take that ratio every week if the New Orleans passing game keeps this up every week. Unfortunately, Brees can't take on the Lions every week, but if he can even approach last year's numbers, FU BAR should be in good shape.
Alligator Fuckhouse (71+ 122) defeats Ass-Ramming HotCocks (64)
Oh boy. Souts still has three big guns to go tonight (Tom Brady, Fred Jackson, Wes Welker), and already - unless those three combine for like 4 fumbles and no positive yardage - he's got me beat. This was a lousy week for the HotCocks, starting Chris Johnson's lackluster opening on Thursday night, and then continuing into Sunday, when John Clayton reported that Anquan Boldin would sit (he played, but only in a limited fashion) and then discovered that Kevin Walter was sitting as well, necessitating a last-minute iPhone substitution from the bar (thanks, Bardey). It didn't help. Boldin and Walter's replacements, Torry Holt and Austin Collie, gave me five big points, surpassed by my stud Michael Turner's massive six. Did I mention that Donovan McNabb broke a rib on Sunday? For those keeping track, that makes Boldin, Walter, McNabb, and Pierre Thomas all injured for me. Fuck. Meanwhile, Souts team was like a who's-who of guys who stand to make me look like an idiot. I called into question a lot of Souts' drafting decisions, and declared his keeper, Thomas Jones, "done." So, of course, Jones went for 26 and his little brother dropped 22 on the Fuckhouse bench. At this point, I'm looking for a huge night out of Brady-Welker so that at least I'll have lost to a strong opponent, and not just shitty old Soutendijk having a lucky week.
Check back in the next few days for the remaining BIFL Week 1 games.
For those of you who haven't heard: I'm unemployed. My teaching certification expired this spring, and even though I fulfilled the requirements to re-new it this summer, New York City put on a hiring freeze for teachers, so my principal was unable to re-hire me. So now I'm out a job. Oh, and I'm homeless. My lease ran out at the end of august, and both my roommates moved back to DC. For the past week I've been crashing with Bost and Delconte (special thanks to them for being excellent - and largely absent - hosts). So my life is largely an empty, lifeless shell of what it was a few months ago. But all summer long, as my situation has become more and more hopeless, there has been one bright spot on the horizon. One lone ray of hope shining through the murk of despair: football season. And yesterday, at long last, it finally arrived. The results: the Skins lost to hated conference rivals, the Giants, and perhaps worse, my fantasy team lost to the awfulness that is Soutendijk. Fuck you, life. Fuck you very much.
Let's see who else has good reason to extend a long middle finger to the Lord above:
FU BAR (
Spencer's still got an IDP going tonight, but this one's already in the bag as Spence will only add to his already-sizable lead. Seems like a lot of the traditional, expected fantasy powerhouses came out flat in Week 1, and this contest was no exception. Bardey's top talents, Matt Forte and Andre Johnson, combined for 8.5 points, and Spencer's horse, Calvin Johnson, had a rather pedestrian 9 points. But at least one of 2008's fantasy monsters picked up where he left off last year, and then some. Drew Brees' six touchdowns were enough to give him a 40-point day. Normally relying on one player for 40% of your points would not be a good thing, but I feel confident that the Frogg (and Bardey, who owns Brees in the Uberleague, and I, who own him in NBD) would take that ratio every week if the New Orleans passing game keeps this up every week. Unfortunately, Brees can't take on the Lions every week, but if he can even approach last year's numbers, FU BAR should be in good shape.
Alligator Fuckhouse (
Oh boy. Souts still has three big guns to go tonight (Tom Brady, Fred Jackson, Wes Welker), and already - unless those three combine for like 4 fumbles and no positive yardage - he's got me beat. This was a lousy week for the HotCocks, starting Chris Johnson's lackluster opening on Thursday night, and then continuing into Sunday, when John Clayton reported that Anquan Boldin would sit (he played, but only in a limited fashion) and then discovered that Kevin Walter was sitting as well, necessitating a last-minute iPhone substitution from the bar (thanks, Bardey). It didn't help. Boldin and Walter's replacements, Torry Holt and Austin Collie, gave me five big points, surpassed by my stud Michael Turner's massive six. Did I mention that Donovan McNabb broke a rib on Sunday? For those keeping track, that makes Boldin, Walter, McNabb, and Pierre Thomas all injured for me. Fuck. Meanwhile, Souts team was like a who's-who of guys who stand to make me look like an idiot. I called into question a lot of Souts' drafting decisions, and declared his keeper, Thomas Jones, "done." So, of course, Jones went for 26 and his little brother dropped 22 on the Fuckhouse bench. At this point, I'm looking for a huge night out of Brady-Welker so that at least I'll have lost to a strong opponent, and not just shitty old Soutendijk having a lucky week.
Check back in the next few days for the remaining BIFL Week 1 games.
NBD - Week 1 Review A
Quick note: this year, instead of putting out a full week's worth of game reviews in one post, I'll be spreading them out over a few days. This makes it easier on me in that I can spend a little time each day writing instead of several hours on Tuesday or Wednesday night, and better for you in that you can check Commandant Lassard almost any day and there will be some new content, and if you (gasp) don't check every day, you can just scroll down and see what you missed.
What is it about a full day of admiring some of the world's elite athletes that turns us into such complete gluttons? Here are some of the things I shoved into my mouthhole yesterday: coffee, beer, bacon cheeseburger sliders, beer, Irish car bombs (for the Dads and Elliott, that's a shot of Jameson dropped into a half-pint of Guinness), beer, cold pizza, pretzels, onion rings, and a vanilla milkshake. I've pooped no less than seven times since I got back from the sports bar yesterday, and I don't think I'm done yet. My asshole feels like a team of monkeys went to work with Brillo pads down there. Anal bleeding - and, similarly, the Redskins loss - aside, though, it was a wonderful first day of football (Thursday doesn't really count). We had career-best performances, dramatic endings, and unexpected breakouts. Let's see how it all affected the Native Burke Dwellers:
Bartelby (84) defeats No Fun League (62)
After a 12th-place finish in 2007 and an 11th-place finish in 2008, the Chief embarks on the 2009 season with 10th place firmly within his sights. He's off to a good start after this Week 1 victory over a team that will surely be duking it out with him for those bottom spots in the standings all season long: No Fun League. It must be No Fun indeed, fielding a team whose top receiver, Anquan Boldin, scored less than 2 points; whose kicker, Josh Brown, scored no points at all; whose Defense, the Bears, lost their anchor and top player to injury for the entire season; and whose tight end, Anthony Fasano, managed to score negative points. Bartelby, on the other hand, got off to a good start thanks to his (finally available) early-round talent, Frank Gore (17 pts), Ryan Grant (13 pts), and keeper Greg Jennings (19 pts). With an unexpectedly good contribution from Devin Hester (15 pts) and a bench that appears to have some start-worthy talent (John Carlson - 22 pts, Cadillac Williams - 16 pts), Ray J must be feeling bullish about 2009.
OK normally this season I'll be trying to do two game re-caps a day on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, but with two Monday Night games featuring the fantasy-heavy Pats and Chargers, every other NBD game still has some fight left in it, so the rest of the slate will have to wait.
What is it about a full day of admiring some of the world's elite athletes that turns us into such complete gluttons? Here are some of the things I shoved into my mouthhole yesterday: coffee, beer, bacon cheeseburger sliders, beer, Irish car bombs (for the Dads and Elliott, that's a shot of Jameson dropped into a half-pint of Guinness), beer, cold pizza, pretzels, onion rings, and a vanilla milkshake. I've pooped no less than seven times since I got back from the sports bar yesterday, and I don't think I'm done yet. My asshole feels like a team of monkeys went to work with Brillo pads down there. Anal bleeding - and, similarly, the Redskins loss - aside, though, it was a wonderful first day of football (Thursday doesn't really count). We had career-best performances, dramatic endings, and unexpected breakouts. Let's see how it all affected the Native Burke Dwellers:
Bartelby (84) defeats No Fun League (62)
After a 12th-place finish in 2007 and an 11th-place finish in 2008, the Chief embarks on the 2009 season with 10th place firmly within his sights. He's off to a good start after this Week 1 victory over a team that will surely be duking it out with him for those bottom spots in the standings all season long: No Fun League. It must be No Fun indeed, fielding a team whose top receiver, Anquan Boldin, scored less than 2 points; whose kicker, Josh Brown, scored no points at all; whose Defense, the Bears, lost their anchor and top player to injury for the entire season; and whose tight end, Anthony Fasano, managed to score negative points. Bartelby, on the other hand, got off to a good start thanks to his (finally available) early-round talent, Frank Gore (17 pts), Ryan Grant (13 pts), and keeper Greg Jennings (19 pts). With an unexpectedly good contribution from Devin Hester (15 pts) and a bench that appears to have some start-worthy talent (John Carlson - 22 pts, Cadillac Williams - 16 pts), Ray J must be feeling bullish about 2009.
OK normally this season I'll be trying to do two game re-caps a day on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, but with two Monday Night games featuring the fantasy-heavy Pats and Chargers, every other NBD game still has some fight left in it, so the rest of the slate will have to wait.
9.13.2009
BIFL - Week 1 Previews & Predictions
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9.12.2009
NBD - Week 1 Previews and Predictions
Git yaself ready for today with some preview action:
The Death Panel vs. Woody's Warriors
I foresee a good match, with the Saints-Lions game (featuring Sovic's Brees and Woody's Megatron) posed to deliver some big numbers to this one. Considering the relatively anemic performance of Woodrow's Thursday Night crew, though, I feel comfortable picking The Death Panel to win it.
A-Town Starbuckers vs. You Got Got
Presumably, the A-Town Starbuckers will get over how difficult it is to drop Jermichael Finley and pick up a kicker this morning. Even if they don't, though, Santonio Holmes bigtime Week 1 could probably make up for it. YGG's Chris Johnson, on the other hand, needs some back-up. Unfortunately, I don't think he's gonna get it. Advantage: Starbuckers
Kiss the Baby vs. Deuceburger
It's gonna be hard to determine a winner in this one, since both teams wear the same helmet and say the same things. I predict a slow start for both these teams this year, but one team has Adrian Peterson, and the other does not. That tilts it in favor of Deuceburger.
Burke City Giants vs. I'm at the Pizza Hut
Father and son collide in this opening week face-off of the Toobins. The elder Toobin's team is the pre-season juggernaut, making it hard to pick against them. Throw in the fact that Michael's Patriot twins (Moss & Welker) are lining up against the potentially woeful Buffalo Bills, and the choice is clear: Burke City
Bartelby vs. NoFunLeague
Well, NoFunLeague certainly got the better end of Pittsburgh's offense Thursday night, with Papkin's Big Ben and Hines Ward scoring ten times as many points as Ray's Willie Parker. That early advantage might be slightly undone if Anquan Boldin (questionable) doesn't play or is limited, but unless somebody (looking at you, Frank Gore) comes up with something big, I'm giving this one to the No Fun League.
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs vs. Wild Stallions
Steven Jackson and Clinton Portis are two guys who could definitely break down later in the season. But this is Week 1, so they're probably okay for now. Their combined powers, plus the fact that a big Larry Fitz day for DeYoung will be automatically countered by a big Kurt Warner day for Koehler, means the edge in this one goes to Matt Ryan Loves Dogs.
Enjoy the games, and good luck to everyone but Sherwood, who can eat shit, choke on it, die, go to hell, and then spend the rest of eternity eating more shit.
The Death Panel vs. Woody's Warriors
I foresee a good match, with the Saints-Lions game (featuring Sovic's Brees and Woody's Megatron) posed to deliver some big numbers to this one. Considering the relatively anemic performance of Woodrow's Thursday Night crew, though, I feel comfortable picking The Death Panel to win it.
A-Town Starbuckers vs. You Got Got
Presumably, the A-Town Starbuckers will get over how difficult it is to drop Jermichael Finley and pick up a kicker this morning. Even if they don't, though, Santonio Holmes bigtime Week 1 could probably make up for it. YGG's Chris Johnson, on the other hand, needs some back-up. Unfortunately, I don't think he's gonna get it. Advantage: Starbuckers
Kiss the Baby vs. Deuceburger
It's gonna be hard to determine a winner in this one, since both teams wear the same helmet and say the same things. I predict a slow start for both these teams this year, but one team has Adrian Peterson, and the other does not. That tilts it in favor of Deuceburger.
Burke City Giants vs. I'm at the Pizza Hut
Father and son collide in this opening week face-off of the Toobins. The elder Toobin's team is the pre-season juggernaut, making it hard to pick against them. Throw in the fact that Michael's Patriot twins (Moss & Welker) are lining up against the potentially woeful Buffalo Bills, and the choice is clear: Burke City
Bartelby vs. NoFunLeague
Well, NoFunLeague certainly got the better end of Pittsburgh's offense Thursday night, with Papkin's Big Ben and Hines Ward scoring ten times as many points as Ray's Willie Parker. That early advantage might be slightly undone if Anquan Boldin (questionable) doesn't play or is limited, but unless somebody (looking at you, Frank Gore) comes up with something big, I'm giving this one to the No Fun League.
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs vs. Wild Stallions
Steven Jackson and Clinton Portis are two guys who could definitely break down later in the season. But this is Week 1, so they're probably okay for now. Their combined powers, plus the fact that a big Larry Fitz day for DeYoung will be automatically countered by a big Kurt Warner day for Koehler, means the edge in this one goes to Matt Ryan Loves Dogs.
Enjoy the games, and good luck to everyone but Sherwood, who can eat shit, choke on it, die, go to hell, and then spend the rest of eternity eating more shit.
9.10.2009
9.09.2009
NBD - Draft '09 in Review
With the NFL (and thus, NBD) season kicking off tonight, I thought I'd take a look back at the draft and share some quick thoughts on our picks before they all get proven horribly wrong.
Round 1
Deuceburger - Adrian Peterson
Woody's Warriors - Michael Turner
A-Town Starbuckers - LaDainian Tomlinson
You Got Got - Maurice Jones-Drew
Wild Stallions - Larry Fitzgerald
Bartelby - Frank Gore
Burke City Giants - Randy Moss
I'm at the Pizza Hut - Tom Brady
Kiss the Baby - Brandon Jacobs
The Death Panel - Andre Johnson
NoFunLeague - Brian Westbrook
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Steven Jackson
I liked that under our new system, johnny-come-lately owners like Kex and the Chief finally got their hands on players that could legitimately be considered 1st-round talent.
I disliked DeYoung's decision to go with Fitzy here. I understand that the fantasy pundits are all hyping the rise of the wideout, and that Larry is probably as sure a thing as anyone drafted behind him, but in our league I couldn't see myself going that route without at least one RB wrapped up as a keeper. DeYoung had two QBs.
I wonder about Derek's LDT pick. I honestly don't know what I'd have done in that position myself, choosing between Tomlinson and Jones-Drew. But I feel like LDT is actually the ballsier pick there, because he could end up taking a lot of shit over it if Tomlinson is in his "It's over" year rather than his "Fuck you" year. So: I'll give him ballsiness.
Round 2
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Clinton Portis
NoFunLeague - Marion Barber
The Death Panel - Drew Brees
Kiss the Baby - Steve Smith
I'm at the Taco Bell - Reggie Wayne
Burke City Giants - Peyton Manning
Bartelby - Ryan Grant
Wild Stallions - Pierre Thomas
You Got Got - Marques Colston
A-Town Starbuckers - Tony Romo
Woody's Warriors - Thomas Jones
Deuceburger - Terrell Owens
I liked what a ridiculous team Michael Toobin was able to have by end of the second round. Having two great late-keeper backs, including last year's #1, allowed him to snag two more guys (Randy Moss and Peyton Manning) that wouldn't shock you by leading their positions, and in fact have done so in the recent past. Certainly an early powerhouse here.
I disliked Tony Romo here. Tony Romo? Did I miss something and he was 2nd-round caliber last year? Am I confused about his receiver options getting worse, not better, this year?
I wonder about the consequences of taking a quarterback high. I've never done it before this year, because I've never been comfortable with having a really questionable guy in that WR2/RB2/Flex position (note: that doesn't mean it hasn't happened consistently). I'm happy to have Brees, and I don't regret the pick, but I wonder if doing this leads to me biting my nails every week when I'm working out those other roster spots.
Round 3
Deuceburger - Larry Johnson
Woody's Warriors - Antonio Gates
A-Town Starbuckers - Marshawn Lynch
You Got Got - Darren McFadden
Wild Stallions - Knowshon Moreno
Bartelby - Antonio Bryant
Burke City Giants - Vincent Jackson
I'm at the Pizza Hut - TJ Houshmandzadeh
Kiss the Baby - Joseph Addai
The Death Panel - Chad Ochocinco
NoFunLeague - Hines Ward
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Braylon Edwards
I liked that Sherwood sticks to his guns and takes Antonio Gates ridiculously high every year.
I disliked almost all the picks in this round (including my own). Not saying they were bad picks or anything, but this is just an unexciting group of players to me. Besides McFadden and Moreno, and theoretically Braylon Edwards, I just feel like all these guys have a very definite ceiling, and that's no fun.
I wonder about Knowshon Moreno conceivably being the first (and only) sub-3rd round keeper in this system next year. Would that be a milestone? No, not really. But I did wonder about it. I think about these things.
Round 4
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Cedric Benson
NoFunLeague - Anquan Boldin (k)
The Death Panel - Matt Forte (k)
Kiss the Baby - Jason Witten
I'm at the Taco Bell - Reggie Bush
Burke City Giants - Wes Welker (k)
Bartelby - Greg Jennings (k)
Wild Stallions - Brandon Marshall
You Got Got - Roy Williams
A-Town Starbuckers - Santonio Holmes
Woody's Warriors - Donovan McNabb
Deuceburger - Santana Moss
I liked the Brandon Marshall pick, and think that the rest of us let him slide too far. It might seem significant in the pre-season that he was suspended from the team, but we all forget that once the season starts, Brandon Marshall wants to make money, and he does that by playing football. Josh McDaniel wants to stay employed, and he does that by winning football games. Marshall will be on the field, and probably playing much better than anyone else taken in this round.
I disliked the fact that Koehler took Cedric Benson, and that Cedric Benson is even a reasonable pick here. This dude just isn't a very good football player, I don't think.
I wonder about the name "A-Town Starbuckers." I have no idea what it means or what it's a reference to.
Round 5
Deuceburger - Matt Schaub
Woody's Warriors - LenDale White
A-Town Starbuckers - Beanie Wells
You Got Got - DeSean Jackson
Wild Stallions - Willis McGahee
Bartelby - Willie Parker
Burke City Giants - Donald Brown
I'm at the Pizza Hut - Dallas Clark (k)
Kiss the Baby - Derrick Ward
The Death Panel - Jamal Lewis
NoFunLeague - Ronnie Brown (k)
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Laveranues Coles
I liked Ray J's Willie Parker pick, despite its fetid reek of homerism. When did we decide Willie Parker was no better than a 5th-rounder? Just because he got injured last year? Are we really worried about Rashard Mendenhall, who hasn't done Mendenshit, taking over? Willie's never been a touchdown machine, anyway, but he'll give you yards every week.
I disliked taking Jamal Lewis. I was so sure I was taking Donald Brown here that I just sat back and relaxed. And then, three picks ahead of me, he disappeared. PANIC has a name, and that name is Jamal Lewis.
I wonder about just how awful Haller's Derrick Ward pick might just turn out to be. Presumably, when he made this pick Haller was unaware of Raheem Morris's announcement that he would be deploying his running backs in a 2 - 2 - 1 pattern of series. Since then, he has also announced that the first 2 of those series would go to Cadillac Williams. So Derrick Ward gets less than 40% of the carries in the dynamic Bucs rushing game. And goal line carries are almost certainly going to Kimbo Slice look-alike Earnest Graham.
Round 6
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Kevin Walter
NoFunLeague - Lance Moore
The Death Panel - Tony Gonzalez (k)
Kiss the Baby - Lee Evans
I'm at the Taco Bell - Kevin Smith (k)
Burke City Giants - Donnie Avery
Bartelby - Greg Olsen
Wild Stallions - Chris Cooley
You Got Got - Roddy White (k)
A-Town Starbuckers - Jerricho Cotchery
Woody's Warriors - Calvin Johnson (k)
Deuceburger - Jonathan Stewart (k)
I liked the general turn in players from the last few rounds to this one. In 1-5, you feel like your picks have to produce, and thus should be "safe." At this point, though, it feels like the pressure's off and you can go after anyone. Kevin Walter? Could suck. But could be awesome. Who knows? The same can be said for Lance Moore, Lee Evans, and Donnie Avery. This is a nice round to take a tight end or one of those types of guys.
I disliked the receiver picked in this round that I didn't mention a few sentences ago.
I wonder about Elliott relying on Kevin Smith (kept in this round) as essentially his top running back. I don't disagree with him as a keeper or anything, he's clearly way more valuable than his sixth round price tag. I just wonder if I'd have taken another running back before the fourth round.
Actually I don't wonder about that. I definitely would have.
Round 7
Deuceburger - Darren Sproles
Woody's Warriors - Torry Holt
A-Town Starbuckers - Fred Taylor
You Got Got - Matt Ryan
Wild Stallions - Carson Palmer
Bartelby - Devin Hester
Burke City Giants - DeAngelo Williams (k)
I'm at the Pizza Hut - Donald Driver
Kiss the Baby - Ahmad Bradshaw
The Death Panel - Shonn Greene
NoFunLeague - Earnest Graham
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Julius Jones
I liked Haller completing the Earth, Wind and Fire trio, even though they're no longer a trio and at least one of them is probably worthless (see Round 5).
I disliked taking Shonn Greene here. I actually like Greene as a deep keeper for next year (it's a good rushing offense, Thomas Jones is about done, and they'll never let Leon Washington be the primary back). But taking him this early is clearly a result of me freaking out about missing Donald Brown earlier.
I wonder about Deezer taking his third quarterback here (he already had keepers Rodgers and Rivers coming to him later). He claimed at the time that one would obviously be traded, but no such trade has happened since, and games are starting tomorrow. I had assumed he already had something in mind when he made the pick, but instead it seems he just broadcasted to the league that one of these guys exists only as trade bait for him. Doesn't knowing that he needs to unload one basically let us know that we can rake him over the coals?
Round 8
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Dwayne Bowe (k)
NoFunLeague - Ben Roethlisberger
The Death Panel - Derrick Mason
Kiss the Baby - Fred Jackson
I'm at the Taco Bell - Leon Washington
Burke City Giants - Ted Ginn
Bartelby - Michael Crabtree
Wild Stallions - Percy Harvin
You Got Got - Owen Daniels
A-Town Starbuckers - LeSean McCoy
Woody's Warriors - Steve Breaston
Deuceburger - Domenik Hixon
I liked the Percy Harvin pick. Traditionally rookie receivers don't contribute much, but last year we saw DeSean Jackson become a viable fantasy option because the Eagles used him in a lot of different ways. It looks like the Vikings are going to do the same for Harvin. But that means...
I disliked the Michael Crabtree pick one spot sooner. Obviously, Crabtree is not contributing soon, and maybe not at all this year. You're really going to keep the guy on your roster all year on the chance that he has a good "rookie" season next year?
I wonder about Fred Jackson. Is there any chance he holds on to the job when Marshawn Lynch gets back? How do you value three weeks of fantasy service? I admit I was kind of intrigued about the possibility of drafting him, but I couldn't ever find a place where it seemed to make sense.
Rounds 9 & 10
Deuceburger - Kellen Winslow
Woody's Warriors - Rashard Mendenhall
A-Town Starbuckers - Josh Morgan
You Got Got - Glen Coffee
Wild Stallions - Le'Ron McClain
Bartelby - David Garrard
Burke City Giants - Visanthe Shiancoe
I'm at the Pizza Hut - Chester Taylor
Kiss the Baby - Chris Chambers
The Death Panel - Matt Cassel
NoFunLeague - Sammy Morris
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Justin Gage
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Laurence Maroney
NoFunLeague - Muhsin Muhammad
The Death Panel - Miles Austin
Kiss the Baby - Jay Cutler (k)
I'm at the Taco Bell - Ricky Williams
Burke City Giants - Eli Manning
Bartelby - Jake Delhomme
Wild Stallions - Aaron Rodgers (k)
You Got Got - Felix Jones (k)
A-Town Starbuckers - Anthony Gonzalez (k)
Woody's Warriors - Pittsburgh Steelers
Deuceburger - Bernard Berrian (k)
I liked very little about the picks in these two rounds, other than maybe the pair of 49ers.
I disliked a lot, as I said, but I especially disliked Laurence Maroney. It just shows a lack of creativity, as far as I'm concerned.
I wonder about whether DeYoung and I will hate each other by the end of the year, considering that he's got two-thirds of the Ravens committee and I've got the other third. What are the odds that the three share duties enough to make them all worthless?
Rounds 11 & 12
Deuceburger - Brett Favre
Woody's Warriors - Davone Bess
A-Town Starbuckers - Shaun Hill
You Got Got - Matt Hasselbeck
Wild Stallions - Philip Rivers (k)
Bartelby - John Carlson
Burke City Giants - Jerious Norwood
I'm at the Pizza Hut - Nate Burleson
Kiss the Baby - Joey Galloway
The Death Panel - Chris Henry
NoFunLeague - Hakeem Nicks
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Joe Flacco
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - James Davis
NoFunLeague - Anthony Fasano
The Death Panel - Edgerrin James
Kiss the Baby - Corell Buckhalter
I'm at the Taco Bell - Deion Branch
Burke City Giants - Steve Slaton (k)
Bartelby - TJ Duckett
Wild Stallions - Baltimore Ravens
You Got Got - Chris Johnson (k)
A-Town Starbuckers - Nate Washington
Woody's Warriors - Michael Jenkins
Deuceburger - Dustin Keller
I liked the guys who popped up in these rounds who pop up in these rounds every year. At this point it's basically playing name a guy you recognize. Jerious Norwood? Yeah they're talking about using him more this year, right? Or was that last year? Or the year before? Nate Burleson? Wasn't he supposed to be good once? Corell Buckhalter? I'm not sure where he's playing these days, but he's got some talent, right? I'm not criticizing, either. My picks fits right in.
I disliked seeing Brett Favre get picked. I honestly think this fuckhead believes we want him to keep coming back. Like we need him to be our hero or something. When you draft him in fantasy, you just reinforce that message.
I wonder about who the fuck is going to be keepable from these rounds next year. Is there a chance that anyone from these rounds is going to end up as good as Philip Rivers, Steve Slaton and Chris Johnson, who were kept here from last year? Seems impossible, right? And yet, it will probably happen. It's what makes fantasy great.
Rounds 13, 14 and 15
Deuceburger - Stephen Gostkowski
Woody's Warriors - Isaac Bruce
A-Town Starbuckers - Jermichael Finley
You Got Got - Kenny Britt
Wild Stallions - Eddie Royal (k)
Bartelby - New York Giants
Burke City Giants - Philadelphia Eagles
I'm at the Pizza Hut - Kyle Orton
Kiss the Baby - Tennessee Titans
The Death Panel - Peyton Hillis
NoFunLeague - Jason Campbell
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Jeremy Shockey
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Kurt Warner (k)
NoFunLeague - Chicago Bears
The Death Panel - Ray Rice (k)
Kiss the Baby - Austin Collie
I'm at the Taco Bell - David Akers
Burke City Giants - Jamaal Charles
Bartelby - Ryan Longwell
Wild Stallions - Malcolm Kelly
You Got Got - Minnesota Vikings
A-Town Starbuckers - Washington Redskins
Woody's Warriors - Justin Fargas
Deuceburger - Miami Dolphins
Deuceburger - Ladell Betts
Woody's Warriors - Rob Bironas
A-Town Starbuckers - Zach Miller
You Got Got - John Kasay
Wild Stallions - Nate Kaeding
Bartelby - Darrius Heyward-Bey
Burke City Giants - Mason Crosby
I'm at the Pizza Hut - San Diego Chargers
Kiss the Baby - JaMarcus Russell
The Death Panel - Dallas Cowboys
NoFunLeague - Josh Brown
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Tim Hightower (k)
I liked that it worked out that the very last pick of the draft was a keeper. Really underscores the idea that you can get a valuable guy anywhere in the draft.
I disliked how I kept forgetting that I had keepers coming. Every time, I'd have grand plans of what I was going to do this round, and then realize like a minute beforehand that I actually had to use that pick on a keeper. It happened here with Ray Rice, which is why I left the draft without a kicker.
I wonder about how any of us is going to compete with Michael Toobin. But then I also know that football, and by extension fantasy football, never works out the way you think it's going to, and that's why it's awesome. Let's get this thing started.
Round 1
Deuceburger - Adrian Peterson
Woody's Warriors - Michael Turner
A-Town Starbuckers - LaDainian Tomlinson
You Got Got - Maurice Jones-Drew
Wild Stallions - Larry Fitzgerald
Bartelby - Frank Gore
Burke City Giants - Randy Moss
I'm at the Pizza Hut - Tom Brady
Kiss the Baby - Brandon Jacobs
The Death Panel - Andre Johnson
NoFunLeague - Brian Westbrook
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Steven Jackson
I liked that under our new system, johnny-come-lately owners like Kex and the Chief finally got their hands on players that could legitimately be considered 1st-round talent.
I disliked DeYoung's decision to go with Fitzy here. I understand that the fantasy pundits are all hyping the rise of the wideout, and that Larry is probably as sure a thing as anyone drafted behind him, but in our league I couldn't see myself going that route without at least one RB wrapped up as a keeper. DeYoung had two QBs.
I wonder about Derek's LDT pick. I honestly don't know what I'd have done in that position myself, choosing between Tomlinson and Jones-Drew. But I feel like LDT is actually the ballsier pick there, because he could end up taking a lot of shit over it if Tomlinson is in his "It's over" year rather than his "Fuck you" year. So: I'll give him ballsiness.
Round 2
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Clinton Portis
NoFunLeague - Marion Barber
The Death Panel - Drew Brees
Kiss the Baby - Steve Smith
I'm at the Taco Bell - Reggie Wayne
Burke City Giants - Peyton Manning
Bartelby - Ryan Grant
Wild Stallions - Pierre Thomas
You Got Got - Marques Colston
A-Town Starbuckers - Tony Romo
Woody's Warriors - Thomas Jones
Deuceburger - Terrell Owens
I liked what a ridiculous team Michael Toobin was able to have by end of the second round. Having two great late-keeper backs, including last year's #1, allowed him to snag two more guys (Randy Moss and Peyton Manning) that wouldn't shock you by leading their positions, and in fact have done so in the recent past. Certainly an early powerhouse here.
I disliked Tony Romo here. Tony Romo? Did I miss something and he was 2nd-round caliber last year? Am I confused about his receiver options getting worse, not better, this year?
I wonder about the consequences of taking a quarterback high. I've never done it before this year, because I've never been comfortable with having a really questionable guy in that WR2/RB2/Flex position (note: that doesn't mean it hasn't happened consistently). I'm happy to have Brees, and I don't regret the pick, but I wonder if doing this leads to me biting my nails every week when I'm working out those other roster spots.
Round 3
Deuceburger - Larry Johnson
Woody's Warriors - Antonio Gates
A-Town Starbuckers - Marshawn Lynch
You Got Got - Darren McFadden
Wild Stallions - Knowshon Moreno
Bartelby - Antonio Bryant
Burke City Giants - Vincent Jackson
I'm at the Pizza Hut - TJ Houshmandzadeh
Kiss the Baby - Joseph Addai
The Death Panel - Chad Ochocinco
NoFunLeague - Hines Ward
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Braylon Edwards
I liked that Sherwood sticks to his guns and takes Antonio Gates ridiculously high every year.
I disliked almost all the picks in this round (including my own). Not saying they were bad picks or anything, but this is just an unexciting group of players to me. Besides McFadden and Moreno, and theoretically Braylon Edwards, I just feel like all these guys have a very definite ceiling, and that's no fun.
I wonder about Knowshon Moreno conceivably being the first (and only) sub-3rd round keeper in this system next year. Would that be a milestone? No, not really. But I did wonder about it. I think about these things.
Round 4
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Cedric Benson
NoFunLeague - Anquan Boldin (k)
The Death Panel - Matt Forte (k)
Kiss the Baby - Jason Witten
I'm at the Taco Bell - Reggie Bush
Burke City Giants - Wes Welker (k)
Bartelby - Greg Jennings (k)
Wild Stallions - Brandon Marshall
You Got Got - Roy Williams
A-Town Starbuckers - Santonio Holmes
Woody's Warriors - Donovan McNabb
Deuceburger - Santana Moss
I liked the Brandon Marshall pick, and think that the rest of us let him slide too far. It might seem significant in the pre-season that he was suspended from the team, but we all forget that once the season starts, Brandon Marshall wants to make money, and he does that by playing football. Josh McDaniel wants to stay employed, and he does that by winning football games. Marshall will be on the field, and probably playing much better than anyone else taken in this round.
I disliked the fact that Koehler took Cedric Benson, and that Cedric Benson is even a reasonable pick here. This dude just isn't a very good football player, I don't think.
I wonder about the name "A-Town Starbuckers." I have no idea what it means or what it's a reference to.
Round 5
Deuceburger - Matt Schaub
Woody's Warriors - LenDale White
A-Town Starbuckers - Beanie Wells
You Got Got - DeSean Jackson
Wild Stallions - Willis McGahee
Bartelby - Willie Parker
Burke City Giants - Donald Brown
I'm at the Pizza Hut - Dallas Clark (k)
Kiss the Baby - Derrick Ward
The Death Panel - Jamal Lewis
NoFunLeague - Ronnie Brown (k)
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Laveranues Coles
I liked Ray J's Willie Parker pick, despite its fetid reek of homerism. When did we decide Willie Parker was no better than a 5th-rounder? Just because he got injured last year? Are we really worried about Rashard Mendenhall, who hasn't done Mendenshit, taking over? Willie's never been a touchdown machine, anyway, but he'll give you yards every week.
I disliked taking Jamal Lewis. I was so sure I was taking Donald Brown here that I just sat back and relaxed. And then, three picks ahead of me, he disappeared. PANIC has a name, and that name is Jamal Lewis.
I wonder about just how awful Haller's Derrick Ward pick might just turn out to be. Presumably, when he made this pick Haller was unaware of Raheem Morris's announcement that he would be deploying his running backs in a 2 - 2 - 1 pattern of series. Since then, he has also announced that the first 2 of those series would go to Cadillac Williams. So Derrick Ward gets less than 40% of the carries in the dynamic Bucs rushing game. And goal line carries are almost certainly going to Kimbo Slice look-alike Earnest Graham.
Round 6
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Kevin Walter
NoFunLeague - Lance Moore
The Death Panel - Tony Gonzalez (k)
Kiss the Baby - Lee Evans
I'm at the Taco Bell - Kevin Smith (k)
Burke City Giants - Donnie Avery
Bartelby - Greg Olsen
Wild Stallions - Chris Cooley
You Got Got - Roddy White (k)
A-Town Starbuckers - Jerricho Cotchery
Woody's Warriors - Calvin Johnson (k)
Deuceburger - Jonathan Stewart (k)
I liked the general turn in players from the last few rounds to this one. In 1-5, you feel like your picks have to produce, and thus should be "safe." At this point, though, it feels like the pressure's off and you can go after anyone. Kevin Walter? Could suck. But could be awesome. Who knows? The same can be said for Lance Moore, Lee Evans, and Donnie Avery. This is a nice round to take a tight end or one of those types of guys.
I disliked the receiver picked in this round that I didn't mention a few sentences ago.
I wonder about Elliott relying on Kevin Smith (kept in this round) as essentially his top running back. I don't disagree with him as a keeper or anything, he's clearly way more valuable than his sixth round price tag. I just wonder if I'd have taken another running back before the fourth round.
Actually I don't wonder about that. I definitely would have.
Round 7
Deuceburger - Darren Sproles
Woody's Warriors - Torry Holt
A-Town Starbuckers - Fred Taylor
You Got Got - Matt Ryan
Wild Stallions - Carson Palmer
Bartelby - Devin Hester
Burke City Giants - DeAngelo Williams (k)
I'm at the Pizza Hut - Donald Driver
Kiss the Baby - Ahmad Bradshaw
The Death Panel - Shonn Greene
NoFunLeague - Earnest Graham
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Julius Jones
I liked Haller completing the Earth, Wind and Fire trio, even though they're no longer a trio and at least one of them is probably worthless (see Round 5).
I disliked taking Shonn Greene here. I actually like Greene as a deep keeper for next year (it's a good rushing offense, Thomas Jones is about done, and they'll never let Leon Washington be the primary back). But taking him this early is clearly a result of me freaking out about missing Donald Brown earlier.
I wonder about Deezer taking his third quarterback here (he already had keepers Rodgers and Rivers coming to him later). He claimed at the time that one would obviously be traded, but no such trade has happened since, and games are starting tomorrow. I had assumed he already had something in mind when he made the pick, but instead it seems he just broadcasted to the league that one of these guys exists only as trade bait for him. Doesn't knowing that he needs to unload one basically let us know that we can rake him over the coals?
Round 8
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Dwayne Bowe (k)
NoFunLeague - Ben Roethlisberger
The Death Panel - Derrick Mason
Kiss the Baby - Fred Jackson
I'm at the Taco Bell - Leon Washington
Burke City Giants - Ted Ginn
Bartelby - Michael Crabtree
Wild Stallions - Percy Harvin
You Got Got - Owen Daniels
A-Town Starbuckers - LeSean McCoy
Woody's Warriors - Steve Breaston
Deuceburger - Domenik Hixon
I liked the Percy Harvin pick. Traditionally rookie receivers don't contribute much, but last year we saw DeSean Jackson become a viable fantasy option because the Eagles used him in a lot of different ways. It looks like the Vikings are going to do the same for Harvin. But that means...
I disliked the Michael Crabtree pick one spot sooner. Obviously, Crabtree is not contributing soon, and maybe not at all this year. You're really going to keep the guy on your roster all year on the chance that he has a good "rookie" season next year?
I wonder about Fred Jackson. Is there any chance he holds on to the job when Marshawn Lynch gets back? How do you value three weeks of fantasy service? I admit I was kind of intrigued about the possibility of drafting him, but I couldn't ever find a place where it seemed to make sense.
Rounds 9 & 10
Deuceburger - Kellen Winslow
Woody's Warriors - Rashard Mendenhall
A-Town Starbuckers - Josh Morgan
You Got Got - Glen Coffee
Wild Stallions - Le'Ron McClain
Bartelby - David Garrard
Burke City Giants - Visanthe Shiancoe
I'm at the Pizza Hut - Chester Taylor
Kiss the Baby - Chris Chambers
The Death Panel - Matt Cassel
NoFunLeague - Sammy Morris
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Justin Gage
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Laurence Maroney
NoFunLeague - Muhsin Muhammad
The Death Panel - Miles Austin
Kiss the Baby - Jay Cutler (k)
I'm at the Taco Bell - Ricky Williams
Burke City Giants - Eli Manning
Bartelby - Jake Delhomme
Wild Stallions - Aaron Rodgers (k)
You Got Got - Felix Jones (k)
A-Town Starbuckers - Anthony Gonzalez (k)
Woody's Warriors - Pittsburgh Steelers
Deuceburger - Bernard Berrian (k)
I liked very little about the picks in these two rounds, other than maybe the pair of 49ers.
I disliked a lot, as I said, but I especially disliked Laurence Maroney. It just shows a lack of creativity, as far as I'm concerned.
I wonder about whether DeYoung and I will hate each other by the end of the year, considering that he's got two-thirds of the Ravens committee and I've got the other third. What are the odds that the three share duties enough to make them all worthless?
Rounds 11 & 12
Deuceburger - Brett Favre
Woody's Warriors - Davone Bess
A-Town Starbuckers - Shaun Hill
You Got Got - Matt Hasselbeck
Wild Stallions - Philip Rivers (k)
Bartelby - John Carlson
Burke City Giants - Jerious Norwood
I'm at the Pizza Hut - Nate Burleson
Kiss the Baby - Joey Galloway
The Death Panel - Chris Henry
NoFunLeague - Hakeem Nicks
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Joe Flacco
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - James Davis
NoFunLeague - Anthony Fasano
The Death Panel - Edgerrin James
Kiss the Baby - Corell Buckhalter
I'm at the Taco Bell - Deion Branch
Burke City Giants - Steve Slaton (k)
Bartelby - TJ Duckett
Wild Stallions - Baltimore Ravens
You Got Got - Chris Johnson (k)
A-Town Starbuckers - Nate Washington
Woody's Warriors - Michael Jenkins
Deuceburger - Dustin Keller
I liked the guys who popped up in these rounds who pop up in these rounds every year. At this point it's basically playing name a guy you recognize. Jerious Norwood? Yeah they're talking about using him more this year, right? Or was that last year? Or the year before? Nate Burleson? Wasn't he supposed to be good once? Corell Buckhalter? I'm not sure where he's playing these days, but he's got some talent, right? I'm not criticizing, either. My picks fits right in.
I disliked seeing Brett Favre get picked. I honestly think this fuckhead believes we want him to keep coming back. Like we need him to be our hero or something. When you draft him in fantasy, you just reinforce that message.
I wonder about who the fuck is going to be keepable from these rounds next year. Is there a chance that anyone from these rounds is going to end up as good as Philip Rivers, Steve Slaton and Chris Johnson, who were kept here from last year? Seems impossible, right? And yet, it will probably happen. It's what makes fantasy great.
Rounds 13, 14 and 15
Deuceburger - Stephen Gostkowski
Woody's Warriors - Isaac Bruce
A-Town Starbuckers - Jermichael Finley
You Got Got - Kenny Britt
Wild Stallions - Eddie Royal (k)
Bartelby - New York Giants
Burke City Giants - Philadelphia Eagles
I'm at the Pizza Hut - Kyle Orton
Kiss the Baby - Tennessee Titans
The Death Panel - Peyton Hillis
NoFunLeague - Jason Campbell
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Jeremy Shockey
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Kurt Warner (k)
NoFunLeague - Chicago Bears
The Death Panel - Ray Rice (k)
Kiss the Baby - Austin Collie
I'm at the Taco Bell - David Akers
Burke City Giants - Jamaal Charles
Bartelby - Ryan Longwell
Wild Stallions - Malcolm Kelly
You Got Got - Minnesota Vikings
A-Town Starbuckers - Washington Redskins
Woody's Warriors - Justin Fargas
Deuceburger - Miami Dolphins
Deuceburger - Ladell Betts
Woody's Warriors - Rob Bironas
A-Town Starbuckers - Zach Miller
You Got Got - John Kasay
Wild Stallions - Nate Kaeding
Bartelby - Darrius Heyward-Bey
Burke City Giants - Mason Crosby
I'm at the Pizza Hut - San Diego Chargers
Kiss the Baby - JaMarcus Russell
The Death Panel - Dallas Cowboys
NoFunLeague - Josh Brown
Matt Ryan Loves Dogs - Tim Hightower (k)
I liked that it worked out that the very last pick of the draft was a keeper. Really underscores the idea that you can get a valuable guy anywhere in the draft.
I disliked how I kept forgetting that I had keepers coming. Every time, I'd have grand plans of what I was going to do this round, and then realize like a minute beforehand that I actually had to use that pick on a keeper. It happened here with Ray Rice, which is why I left the draft without a kicker.
I wonder about how any of us is going to compete with Michael Toobin. But then I also know that football, and by extension fantasy football, never works out the way you think it's going to, and that's why it's awesome. Let's get this thing started.
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